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Edited by TheArtist:
4/27/2017 1:07:48 PM
2
Not my responsibility to parent someone else's child.
IF I'm raid leader or one of the senior raid members, I will ask the child to stop the offending behavior and explain why it is necessary.
But if the kid refuses to listen or comply? Done.
If I'm not one of those raid leadership people, and I'm simply someone who was invited to the party? Once I've reached the limit of my patience and tolerance, I'm out.
In the setting of this game, I am one of that childs "peers", and the relationship is transactional. We are here to get a raid done. I am not a parent, a role model or an authority figure. It is the responsibility of OTHER adults in that child's life to see to his "learning" and proper socialization.
Not mine.
English
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First of all, nobody is saying it's your responsibility to parent someone else's child. The main question proposed by the title is: "Do we actually want to fix this?" Nobody has any responsiblity to fix anything, it's whether or not we WANT to fix it. If the answer is yes, then the way to fix it is by treating kids better, so that they learn. Now, there IS a responsibility here, and that is that, as adults (because whatever group we're in, children are unequal peers to adults) we have a responsibility to treat other people with some respect. We should even be doing this with other adults. The reason it's more acceptable to just plain boot an adult is because they should know better than to be disruptive (not bad at a raid, but disruptive to it), but the kind of kid that's being disruptive normally doesn't know better, and they're a kid. It's not our responsibility to teach them, or to mollycoddle them, it's our responsibility to have the manners that they don't. Them learning how to behave better is a bonus that will help to make our community better.
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Edited by TheArtist: 4/27/2017 1:51:07 PM[quote]The main question proposed by the title is: "Do we actually want to fix this?" Nobody has any responsiblity to fix anything, it's whether or not we WANT to fix it. If the answer is yes, then the way to fix it is by treating kids better, so that they learn.[/quote] That's asking me to nurture the kid. I'm not here to FIX anything about him. I'm here to play the game, and to do the raid. ...and if his behavior exceeds my (at times) ***considerable*** patience, I'm going to boot him. Or I"M going to leave if I'm not in a position to make him leave. That's not being a "jerk". That is establishing----and defending----a healthy boundary against someone's inappropriate behavior. My only obligation to someone else's child is to treat them with respect to their HUMANITY....and with respect to their YOUTH. (IOW, respect their rights as a person...and to not ask anything of them that is unreasonable for someone of their age, and their age-related capabilities). Not being disruptive in group activity is WELL within the capacity of any school-age child. Because they are----unless they're being home schooled----expected to do this on a daily basis...and what is generally acceptable classroom behavior is generally acceptable behavior in a raid. Now if a kid is being disruptive in school, a teach will often use the situation as a moment to teach the child. But TEACHING that child is what that adult is being paid to do. When I'm raiding, I am on what is my precious LEISURE time....and trying to "fix" someone else's under-parented child is NOT my responsibility, and I'm not going to be pressured into taking on that responsibility. PAIN...that is the natural consequences of unacceptable behavior...is often our most effective teacher of socialization. Just because something HURTS doesn't mean its harmful, or that its disrespectful or exploitative. It simply means that we aren't getting something that we very much want. ...and sometimes it is OUR responsibility to figure out what it is that we are doing what is keeping us from what we want. ...and someone who is old enough to speak in paragraphs is old enough to know----or old enough that they SHOULD know----that the kinds of behaviors that we're talking about in a group setting is not acceptable. If the adults in that kid's life are not diligent enough to see to it that he learns this, then that is no my fault...and it is NOT my responsibility to fix it. If YOU want to take that on. Great. More power...and good luck...to you.
