[quote]I am doing a new series of posts on what Christianity is really about, as there seems to be a bit of confusion in this community and abroad.[/quote]
Uh, where exactly? I don't think I've ever seen any "I'm confused about Jesus" posts.
[quote]Many people think that heaven is the same for everyone. [/quote]
Well, it's the same for "everyone." We all know black people aren't allowed in, cuz then the property value will go down. But I guess blacks aren't really people either, so yes, heaven could be the same for everyone.
[quote]They could t be more wrong. It says in the Bible that, for everything that you sacrifice for the lord, you will receive twice as much in heaven. [/quote]
So for all the pussy I don't smash before marriage, I get twice as much in heaven?
[quote]So, the more you give on Earth, the more you receive in heaven. Therefore, some people may have a better experience in heaven than others. [/quote]
Yeah, like all those guys that were promised virgins. They're gonna have a [i]way[/i] better time.
[quote]But then arises a problem, some people have more to give than others. Well, Jesus handles this quite well. [/quote]
Yeah, he handles it by not letting the blacks in. Bam. Problem solved.
[quote]In the church one day, some of he richer men donate large sums of money to the church. After them, a poor widow donates what we would consider close to a quarter to the church. [/quote]
I don't understand this currency. Close to a quarter?
[quote]Some people scoff at her, because she donated so little, but Jesus says that she gave even more than the rich people, because unlike them, she gave all she had. [/quote]
She'd suck at Monopoly.
[quote]So, it isn't about how much you give compared to others, it is about how much you give out of how much you can give that counts.[/quote]
But Jesus would prefer bills larger than $5.
[quote]Edit: I found a great site that agrees with me (for the most part). http://coldcasechristianity.com/2012/are-there-different-degrees-of-reward-in-heaven/ I think I will be using this site a lot in the future.[/quote]
You found a site that agrees with you? You must be correct. I personally prefer www.csinazareth.com.
By the way, how do I buy into the Heaven+ membership?
English
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This is amazing 10/10
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I got a good chuckle out of this. Thanks, muh dood. [spoiler][i]I’ll have two number 9s, a number 9 large, a number 6 with extra dip, a number 7, two number 45s, one with cheese, and a large soda.[/i][/spoiler]
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[quote]Uh, where exactly? I don't think I've ever seen any "I'm confused about Jesus" posts.[/quote] I have discussed about religion with various people around Offtopic. Most of them are quite ignorant on the matter. [quote]Well, it's the same for "everyone." We all know black people aren't allowed in, cuz then the property value will go down. But I guess blacks aren't really people either, so yes, heaven could be the same for everyone.[/quote] What the hell are you rambling on about? Anyone of any race can enter heaven. It is quite easy actually. [quote]So for all the pussy I don't smash before marriage, I get twice as much in heaven?[/quote] I don't believe that is how it works. Sacrificing something for Christ and not sinning are two very different things. [quote]Yeah, like all those guys that were promised virgins. They're gonna have a [i]way[/i] better time.[/quote] I am not sure what you are referencing. [quote]Yeah, he handles it by not letting the blacks in. Bam. Problem solved.[/quote] You are either a very talented troll or stoned. [quote]I don't understand this currency. Close to a quarter?[/quote] Money in ancient Israel is different than money in modern times. [quote]She'd suck at Monopoly.[/quote] I would imagine most people at the time would, because they probably don't even know what a board game is, much less speak English. [quote]But Jesus would prefer bills larger than $5.[/quote] They just work so much better for counting purposes. [quote]You found a site that agrees with you? You must be correct. I personally prefer www.csinazareth.com.[/quote] Link is broken. [quote]By the way, how do I buy into the Heaven+ membership?[/quote] With five installments of 9.95$ [spoiler]I thought you were serious for a while.[/spoiler]