We here at Star Tec, world leaders of the famous A.S.S.H.A.T (Anti Spin Super Hyper Advanced Translator). Have been told by our colleagues in the science community, that we’re just too old fashioned. Apparently people don’t want to see wonders of super science like accelerated sub particle fusion. But would much rather watch an Otter rub its tummy while being narrated by some English Film School dropout. *Puts on terrible fake English accent* Here we have the common species called Rattus, or more commonly known as an Woolly Woobler. About to achieve natures greatest miracle by giving birth. Awe look at that the Mother Woolly Woobler is giving kisses to the new born baby woolly woobler’s, welcoming them into this brave strange new world…No wait…Eww gross it’s eating them! Did you guys know they did that? Disgusting! *back to normal voice* …Wait what’s that “Woolly Woobler” is just a word I made up? The Brits just call them rats like everyone else? Huh, who knew…Well it’s not like we have a large selection of animals to feature around here. It was either the rats or the super cool Velociraptors we made with boring old fashioned accelerated sub particle fusion. Whatever, I’m so done with this. Just tell them to go watch BBC world or something I have science stuff to do. ..Ohh Ahem, I see the mic was still on. Just forget what I said about that last part folks. Here’s some stock footage of Otters rubbing their tummies. ============================================================================== [quote] “This week at Bungie we revealed the next live event in Destiny.”[/quote] [b]*Translation*:[/b] Ironic how we use “Live Event” to mark the official “death” of your favorite game. [quote]“So many players are curious about their next adventure. Before we can begin that conversation, we have a celebration to host. If you have a Guardian, you’re invited.”[/quote] [b]*Translation*:[/b] !!!!ALERT!!!! DeeJ truth detected: That is you’re invited unless your Guardian is either on PS3, or 360. Or you’re too cheap to buy ROI. But we don’t really consider you Guardians, more like a bunch of cheap ingrates. [quote] “From the day your Ghost woke you to the moment you chose to read this blog yet again, much has happened.”[/quote] [b]*Translation*:[/b] Since 2014 we did the following. Sold out to Activision. Chopped up and wiped the original story and game into tiny pieces. Failed to provide the game we promised at E3. Nerfed everything into the ground. Fired our music producer. Fired our CEO Nerfed everything even more. Forgot to tell everyone this game is on a reverse subscription, and blocked 95% of the game to anyone who didn’t own TTK. Nerfed everything more. Brought in Skill Based Matchmaking Nerfed everything again. SRL Did we mention we nerfed everything yet? Nerf [quote]“It’s a solid metaphor for how much the creators of this game have appreciated you lighting the way.”[/quote] [b]*Translation*: [/b]Some Guardians will fall through the cracks, but they can still go to the tower-Deej …Ptff like I’m going to spend a hour or two re-downloading Destiny “To go to the tower”… And legacy console players amount to far more than “A few guardians”. [quote] “If this created more questions than it answered, we’re off to a good start. Thanks for being curious and ever ready for action! You’ll find some more answers if you scroll, and two more reveals will stream before the party begins.”[/quote] [b]*translation*: [/b]The only question anyone really wants answered is “Why?” There’s not exactly any point to leveling up in a game that’s now finished. [quote]“If you still have questions after that, there will be nothing left to do but download that Record Book and shoot your way through to the final answers”[/quote] [b]*translation*: [/b]You guys think the record books are free? Suckers! We needed one last cash grab before D2 without giving you any new content.