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12/1/2016 8:27:41 AM
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Full rewrite please. This is my favorite exotic of the entire game ever.
Almost all of the lore is tied up in hive crap. I started reading and saw hive and cringed.
Helmet seems more Vexy if you think about it, not hivey.
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However, I will definitely take that into consideration. I didn't really see it as involving any race specifically, but more involving a Guardian.
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[quote]However, I will definitely take that into consideration. I didn't really see it as involving any race specifically, but more involving a Guardian. [/quote] The writing you did is very good though. Fits the style etc. Just the content I didn't like. :)
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Well that's quite alright. :) And, I have a pretty good idea for a rewrite, now. [spoiler]And it has relation to the Vex :D Not directly, but it has relation.[/spoiler]
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Edited by $hirtless Captain Kirk: 12/1/2016 10:34:07 PM[quote]Well that's quite alright. :) And, I have a pretty good idea for a rewrite, now. [spoiler]And it has relation to the Vex :D Not directly, but it has relation.[/spoiler][/quote] I kind of had this rough idea that maybe it could be the origin of the fist of havoc kind of like TLW. The idea was bit rated M though. While fighting Vex some lore soaked Titan fights Vex and get his/her helmet smashed in and is seemingly dead being brought down by hordes of Vex. Then "the Inmost Light " comes out, the Titan rises (not self Res) and the helmet explodes with light charging the first ever fist of havoc. You know what happen next :) Just wanted to throw that at you in case you want to take all or part of that idea.
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Now THAT I can already see as a story! I like that better, in fact.
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Go for it! You have the style down.
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Rewritten and FAR better imo. Thanks for the great idea for it!
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Edited by $hirtless Captain Kirk: 12/2/2016 4:51:16 AM[quote]Rewritten and FAR better imo. Thanks for the great idea for it! [/quote] I couldn't read it. It just kept looping me through your threads.
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Edited by Neytir: 12/2/2016 1:38:09 PMReally? I'll have to take a look at it...in the meantime, here, I copied it from the post. [spoiler]I hold a very high respect for Titans. In fact, I owe my life to one. She wasn't anything remarkable. She wasn't the strongest, or the most resilient, or even the most resourceful. But she was loyal, and I considered her a friend. We were scouting Mercury, orders from the Vanguard to get intel on the Vex. Everything was going fine, she was keeping watch while I investigated a nearby Conflux and Gate. And then the Conflux activated. Vex started to come out of the now active Gate, first in pairs. We could handle that, and we did, for a while. They began to send Minotaurs with the Goblins. And they came faster. We tried to retreat, but the Vex had already thought of that. While we were dealing with the pairs of Vex early on, they had been forming a perimeter. Surrounded, we held out as long as we could. I saw her go down, eventually. Heh, she was punching at the ankles of that Minotaur, even as it planted its foot on her chest. Even as it swung its arms at her helmet. I tried to concentrate my Light into my cannon, like Shin showed me. But I couldn't hold my focus. The cannon disintegrated from the Solar Light. It had been enough to destroy it. So there I was, trying desperately to fight off Goblins and Minotaurs with nothing but a knife. But I was losing. They were closing in. From the corner of my vision, I saw her get up. And I also saw, that from every crack in her armor, blue Light shone, emanating from underneath. I saw electricity, angry and crackling, arcing around her fists and up her forearms. I told her to run. To save herself. The Vex horde was focused solely on me. She ran. She ran straight at the horde encircling me. She leapt at them, fists raised high above her head. The Light was so bright I could hardly see, and I could feel the electricity in the air, like the moment before a bolt of lightning strikes. I didn't see her hit the ground as much as I felt it. The force sent me flying back, away from her and the horde. When I got back up, there was nothing left. The Vex had all been reduced to nothing but ash. But she had too. All that I found of her was her empty helmet, Light still emerging from the cracks.[/spoiler]
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[url=https://www.bungie.net/en/Forum/Post/218908747/0/0][/url]
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Edited by Neytir: 12/1/2016 12:32:58 PMThe reason it involved the Hive is due to it involving Rezyl Azzir, who was last heard of being in the Moon.
