You should have went in thinking I'm here to improve. You were already thinking negative when you said you aren't the best and you knew this, whenever I begin catching myself thinking like that I turn it around to "I'm here to learn and improve."
Of course it was not for art and yes, the art spoiler is as far as I read. You were just going with the motion by taking up art a spur of the moment thing if you are not interested you are not interested.
No depression, depression is that sinking feeling in your chest that eventually drains you out from wanting to do anything at all.
Omg the amount of effort and detail you went to here makes me come to the conclusion that your problem is that you're obsessed. More that you might have a problem rather than there is one.
I didn't read it all because I don't have all that time to waste.
Only because you're changing, it doesn't mean you're "depressed".
Looks like depression, not major depressive disorder, just depression, and that you're burnt out from constantly doing this stuff plus being demoralised by seeing others do work that you see as better than yours. Need to chill it and focus on some other things for awhile, then when you're ready, come back to it.
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