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7/7/2016 7:52:30 PM
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I think about stuff like that often. I've had so many friends come and go in my life, and every now and then I'll have a fond memory of them pop into my head. It's not like I had a falling out with any of them, we sort of just...stopped communicating. It's odd how that happens. Some of my best memories in life are with these people I grew so close to, and now will probably never see again in my life.
There's one in particular that I wonder about most often. The first girl I fell in love with. We were best friends. When we broke up, we never said a word to each other again after that. I saw her a couple times in public after but avoided her like the plague (it was not a good breakup), and then I stopped seeing her all together. I hear from all my other exes every now and then, or see their stuff on social media, but this one deleted all her social media and changed her number. I even stopped seeing her close friends around town, so I couldn't ask them how she was doing either. There's no trace of her. That was nearly 6 years ago now and I still wonder what happened to her.
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I have a few ex's as well, none of which I really bother keeping up with anymore. One cheated on me, one ended up turning into an obsessive stalker, one...well, nothing really happened with. We just were no longer interested in one each other. And the last one I kept a semi-complicated relationship with for a few months after the split, which I ended up cutting off "once and for all" after a serious discussion of how we felt about each other...still odd to think about, it was a really confusing period of time. But anyway, I do understand what you're talking about. When someone outright vanishes from your life it almost leaves somewhat of a "hole" in your history, especially if it's someone you were really close to. I partially attribute this to the mind's natural instinct to hunt for some semblance of a conclusion to the various situations we encounter in our lives. You end up stuck with questions that just don't seem to have answers. And while this isn't always bothersome, it'll stick with you for a while, if nothing else.
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So true. It's bizarre going from talking to a person every day and caring about them deeply, to having absolutely no contact with them for the rest of your life in the snap of a finger. Even tho I "got closure" it still feels like there's a missing puzzle piece. That's why, ever since then, I always try to leave my relationships on good terms
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Perhaps you didn't get as much "closure" to that relationship as you thought you did, like you had some unresolved emotions or problems that weren't quite addressed properly, or fully tended to. This is something that's especially common with bad breakups, since they can more often leave you with the sense of, "I did something wrong", or "There's something I have to fix". But I agree with you, leaving on good terms is a preferable option. Even if there's no chance of "reigniting" the relationship, you won't be left with pointless conflict or loose ends...orrr, at least no more than necessary.
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Well she cheated on me, that's why it ended so badly. At the time that was all the closure I needed. I'm definitely over her, but I still get that reoccurring thought of "where is she now?"
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Fair point. I know that thought well, hence why this thread exists. lol I actually wouldn't mind meeting the girl that cheated on me again. It was a rocky breakup to a relationship that I left angry, sad, and confused, which to me isn't really "closure." Whenever someone hurts me, my version of closure is being able to say, "I forgive you". I might never truly trust that person again, or allow them back into my life, but being able to say those words is my way of knowing that I no longer harbor any negative emotions and that i've come to terms with what happened. Back then, I wasn't ready for that, and by the time I was, my chance had passed. It's not something that bothers me, i'm content in knowing that i've chosen to forgive. It's just always nicer when you're able to actually vocalize it to the other person.
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I can understand that. If I had the opportunity I'd like to see the one who cheated on me too. Not necessarily for closure, but just to see what became of her. You gotta wonder if they're maybe thinking the same thing about us. I'm sure we cross their minds every now and then.
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Bah, I doubt she even remembers who I am. And honestly, that's okay. I don't mind being forgotten, especially if it's by someone I have no interaction with anymore, and don't intend to seek out. Yours might, though. Who knows?
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Can't help but wonder. These are questions we will probably never have answered.
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Probably, but in a way, that's part of the fun. It adds an air of mystery to what in reality is relatively mundane situation.
