A man assaulted a store in Queens, New York, in front of me. He looked like that chubby guy from Lost. He went to the vegetable area and grabbed a lot of cabbages. The man proceeded to run away from the scene, running over an elderly woman in the process. As he made it to the door, he was stopped by a security guard. But little did the guard know that the man had a secret weapon...[spoiler]his boob.[/spoiler] The thief whacked the guard with the deadly weapon, giving him enough time to run away, run over another elderly woman, and steal another cabbage. The last that I saw of the man was him running into a dark alley, followed by another fat man. [spoiler]May God help us all.[/spoiler]