One time I was chopping carrots with my sword. It was a lazy day so I was completely naked, as per usual. Now unfortunately my johnson was laying across the cutting board and when I blanked out from boredom, I accidentally chopped my knob off. At this point I'm like, shit, so I put my knob in the freezer and wrapped a tea towel around my wang to try and stop the bleeding. So I went to my cupboard looking for some kind of sewing supplies so I could put it back together, but I didn't have any, so I go to my neighbours house right and he opens the door to see me standing there, naked, with a bloody rag on my dick, holding a sword. Then his dog came out and bit me on the arse, so I started swinging at it with the sword and then my neighbour locked his door and called the cops I think. So I ran off into the field across the road with this dog chasing me. I eventually managed to kill him, but I was like totally lost in the bush. Luckily I came across a little cabin down a hill somewhere, but I was like falling asleep coz of blood loss so I just fell off the hill above it, through the roof and into a massive stack of crack. The cops found me unconscious later. And that is the story of the time I got arrested.