It's hard man... I have had 2 dogs that died. 1 died when I was asleep, he just went peacefully in the night. Got woken up, bawled like a baby for an hour. The other died while I was 4 states away. I've never had to see one go in front of me, but it was sad enough for me... I can't imagine how bad it is for you... Just remember the good times you had, and you'll get through it.