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originally posted in: *A Signal Intercepted*
10/27/2015 10:31:46 PM
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Jxy
Jxy

Nice. Could be improved.
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  • What, my connection? I'm halfway across the galaxy and you think i need better connection... Nice one guardian, nice one...

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    Not your connection, you doufus.

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  • Then what then? How I talk, and or how I explain who I am? Tell me!

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    I can't really nitpick because the whole thing is structured wrong. I'm no author but I have written fan fiction and you're just diving head first into your whole story in one paragraph. Drag it out, man. Give me something to imagine. Where is your guardian? What's their name? Where's their ghost now? Why are they there? How did they get there? What class is your guardian? Give me some backstory.

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  • look to the top soon

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