[quote]Solar, introduction. [spoiler]Technically prologue 2/2[/spoiler][/quote] Ghosts, they were so to die for. The flashy little thing hovered around Sunny, scanning for health concerns and giving a baseline heartbeat for the sensors. Setting and IFF frequency to match the implant in her forearm, and whatever else the paladin wanted it to do. Ghosts were only for the elite, the privileged, and the few at this day and age. To have one imprinted on you was a great honor. It was one of the few things Sunny found herself jealous of. They could also save your life, over and over, as long as the ghost wasn't destroyed as well. It floated back to it's paladin silently, they never seemed to talk. The Titan was a more experienced Awoken by the name of Lauren, and very much the image of strength. She had short hair, ice white like the rest of her features (Including her piercing eyes) and curled almost like the helmet that normally sat on her head. Her armor was taken from the Vex drones, it was smooth and seemed to be made of something very strong, but fairly good looking. Albeit the armor was bulky, but actually less then most armors worn by higher order Titans. Lauren gave a small grunt. "Your vitals will show up to the rest of us... Sunny, was it? Sorry, I'm not one for names. Do I need to remind you about anything?" Sunny fidgets with her hands without knowing, she's more nervous then ever. Lauren looks down to see and the corner of her lips rises slightly. "It's okay, first time is always scary." "...was it for you...?" "A Titan? Scared?!" She laughs a hearty laugh. "...Well I guess it's no secret: I wasn't exactly a Titan then was I?" Lauren pats her shoulder and walks away into the ship's hold: A refurbished blockade runner by the name of "Coldsnap". It was marginally average, apart from the numerous types of weaponry jutting out from it's almost blocky form. The other two members of the team were heading in her direction, one holding a bunch of objects haphazardly. Sunny was sitting down on a crate, waiting for instructions. The padding on her bodysuit rubbed into her skin when she moved in certain ways, irritating her. It wasn't as good as guardian armor, she would need to find what order she was a part of before she could receive any from the vanguard quartermaster. "Crystal! Stop, those aren't yours!" The slim figure of the team's hunter brought her eyes up. She couldn't tell the features of the hunter, for until now she always wore a helmet that reminded her of the hive, supposedly she boasted it was from Crota himself. But right now, she could tell the redhead in front of her had a very nice face as well, she was pretty for sure, and looked down to sunny with a concerned look and a bundle of gun in her hands. The dark painted exo practically on her shoulder was the team's warlock, and he didn't seem happy with whatever the hunter was doing. He gave her an earful, more like a child uselessly arguing with his mother. It was extremely funny to Sunny, and she had to stifle a smile trying to creep it's way across her lips as the exo whined and whined and whined... He was still going on and on about the statistics of inexperienced user's accidents and friendly fire percentages when Crystal spoke directly to Sunny. "They still haven't outfitted you right?" "Uh, I guess no..." Crystal sets every single weapon out on the floor next to sunny in a pile, the exo finally submits and stands to one side, glaring at Crystal. She carefully sets each one in an order from largest to smallest: A small blue sidearm to a white Auto rifle with flashing blue electricity on it's side to long rifle that looked much like a railgun. "Take your pick!" The hunter grinned broadly, as if happy to show off something deadly. Sunny timidly meanders off her crate and around the selection of about a dozen weapons. She picks a few up carefully, they all seem light and form-fitting. She was mostly attracted to the first and last of the group: The sidearm and the railgun. She picked both up and turned to Crystal with a questioning look. Sunny had been trained with all the forms of weapons needed, so it wasn't like she was new to everything, but she was inexperienced. The exo decided to chime in. "Don't you think that's a little big for you?" Crystal gives him a punch to the shoulder. "Of course she could handle that, right sunny?" Sunny was wondering if they had gossiped about her previously. Or were they around during training? How much about her did they know? She hits several small tabs near the trigger of the railgun, it hums to life and the indicator near the scope charges it's six shots. The exo's eyes widen, he reaches for it and turns it back off. She lets him. "Uh, okay there, try not to shoot us before we even get into the field please?" Crystal glares at him. "Okay! Okay! I'll just go back to my studies or something..." He walks away after a brief glance to make sure the gun is truly off, and not pointed at his back. "So sunny-" Crystal takes both the sidearm and rifle, putting them in their respective places on Sunny's gear. She then backs up, looking her up and down before nodding in approval. "-looking forward to shooting some hive?"

Nice work. Personally, what I enjoyed most about this was the extreme detail to everything. Emotions, aesthetics, even paying attention to the lore and articulating it in such a way that fits this writing style. If I had to select a favourite scene, I would choose the 2nd part of the prologue where Sunny is being given her new weapons. Another nod to the descriptive points from earlier: the way you described the Icebreaker was spot-on. From the Exo's wary attitude to the overall selection that occurs with Sunny choosing her armaments, it's a well done piece. The only two things I see slightly off in this is the first part of the prologue where the Awoken boy opens the door to find his companion still in her nightwear. I feel that he should've had more attention paid to his aesthetic besides his obvious embarrassment just to keep up with the rest of the- yes, I really do enjoy this -focused detail from the rest of the story. Secondly, there's a single spelling error in the second part of the prologue. It's honestly more of a personal thing because I'm what people call a grammar nãzi, but I feel that I should try to point such things out even if it annoys others. I totally just lost which one I found originally. You did however forget to pluralize "guns" in "bundle of guns" when you refer to Crystal bringing the handheld arsenal with her.

[quote]Nice work. Personally, what I enjoyed most about this was the extreme detail to everything. Emotions, aesthetics, even paying attention to the lore and articulating it in such a way that fits this writing style. If I had to select a favourite scene, I would choose the 2nd part of the prologue where Sunny is being given her new weapons. Another nod to the descriptive points from earlier: the way you described the Icebreaker was spot-on. From the Exo's wary attitude to the overall selection that occurs with Sunny choosing her armaments, it's a well done piece. The only two things I see slightly off in this is the first part of the prologue where the Awoken boy opens the door to find his companion still in her nightwear. I feel that he should've had more attention paid to his aesthetic besides his obvious embarrassment just to keep up with the rest of the- yes, I really do enjoy this -focused detail from the rest of the story. Secondly, there's a single spelling error in the second part of the prologue. It's honestly more of a personal thing because I'm what people call a grammar nãzi, but I feel that I should try to point such things out even if it annoys others. I totally just lost which one I found originally. You did however forget to pluralize "guns" in "bundle of guns" when you refer to Crystal bringing the handheld arsenal with her.[/quote] This is what I love.