Nice. Best thing I can say is to seperate the paragraphs more. Cannot have more than 1 person speaking per paragraph. Ps, add #Gallery #Story, those will help :)
English
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Thanks
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KoK is Kell of kells
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As in was that what you meant for story?
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Add those #tags yes.
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But seriously man, good job, it needs some work, but so does everybody's, no story is perfect. Just gotta fix it up as best you can and hope nobody notices :P