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originally posted in:CentauriAlpha Fan Fiction
8/29/2015 1:37:41 PM
28
Nice job. Maybe fix it up with the grammar here and there and you're good.
English
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Love echo to
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Hey thanks. I appreciate the support and I'm sure Echo does as well.
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Like your work blade
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Edited by Noveltiez: 8/30/2015 8:50:14 PMOh yeah should I write chapter 2 part 1 today or let the others hopefully gain some more popularity?
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Edited by Royal Blade: 8/30/2015 8:53:16 PMIt's not a question of gaining popularity it's a question of whether you want to upload faster or give space in between chapters for a more how would you say... "dramatic" effect
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Edited by Noveltiez: 8/30/2015 8:58:08 PMHmm ok I think I'll write it on Tuesday or maybe tonight.
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If you get stumped or would like some feedback feel free to PM me and I'll do my best to help you out.
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Alright I will thanks again dude!
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Again no problemo man :3
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Is there anything in particular? I can't seem to find anything
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Ok I checked it but it was 2 in the morning so I probably missed a lot of things lol thanks for the feedback
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Lol anytime
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Is there anything in particular I can't seem to find anything :/
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Maybe not grammar in particular maybe just the way you phrased some sentences
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Ohhhhh in the message?
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Yeah yeah
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Yeah I'm try to figure out how to re phrase it but having some trouble making the scene how I imagined it in my head, so might just have to change it up a little
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Well how are you trying to put it? I could help you out
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Well I'm trying to make it to where it's a very creepy moment you hear creaking sounds a distant roar and then all of a sudden it just happens he basically gets jumped by hive and then oryx uses the comm to say what he said
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Maybe it could be the message playing then all of a sudden he stops speaking. He asks "did you hear that" *creaking* "there it is* *roars* "Oh my god what is that." *creaking turns into stomping* "The entire ground is shaking. OH MY- aaaaaahhhh *oryx comes in*
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Do you mind if I use it?
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Not at all. It's all yours
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Alright cool thanks for the help blade!
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Hey no problemo. Happy to help :3
