God, I hate "Escape (The Piña Colada Song)." Everything about it is terrible. The music. The melody. The subject matter. It amazes me Jimmy Buffet didn't write it. Rupert Holmes should be thrown into The Hague for crimes against humanity for unleashing that monstrosity unto the world. I mean, seriously, two people in an unhappy relationship who apparently don't know anything about each other. One places a personal ad in a newspaper while she's still in the relationship. Her male partner answers the personal ad. Imagine how this scenario plays out in real life: "oh how cute you were so miserable you put a personal ad out there so you could cheat on me but I answered the personal ad, not knowing it was you, fully intending to cheat on you. Let's live happily ever after!" Seriously, that song is awful. Oh, wait, was this the 10,000th thread asking for a hand cannon nerf? Sorry, I got distracted...