More detail as to the area they are in, we dont know much about the characters. Not quite a "Chapter", more of a "Paragraph".
Just a bit of feedback
English
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Another thing, I have quite a bit of character explanation in later chapters, but this was more a introduction to get feedback.
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Okay, just make sure you describe them indirectly and spread apart dont just go, ______ has a red hood. Go, ______'s hood was covered in blood from the battle, not that you could see it, the shade of red on the hood was the same as the blood on it.
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Yea. Thanks!
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Edited by Bricker724: 6/14/2015 9:47:59 PMOk, thanks. I'll work on it. I know it's a bit short, the other chapters I wrote are a bit longer.