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9/27/2009 8:38:30 PM
649
No wonder humanity was almost wiped out!
At the beginning of the Halo series, humanity had weapons that made the Covenant crap their pants. The standard UNSC pistol could be used as a freakin' anti-air weapon! The rocket launcher obliterated everything nearby, and the vehicles were completely indestructible.
Meanwhile, the Covenant were equipping their highest ranking Elites with fuzzy blue things that did nothing but make the humans laugh, as they used bullets to kill enemies rather than fists.
Then, the UNSC had a sudden urge to "balance" their equipment. They made it so the pistol couldn't kill a grunt, let alone a Covenant ship. They also turned their vehicles into fast-moving deathtraps that the enemy could now hijack. The only improvements that were made during this period were an improved rocket launcher that was able to lock on to enemy vehicles, and an increased budget that allowed the UNSC to get every marine a driver's license.
At the same time, the Covenant upgraded their blue fuzzy things into something resembling a sword, and it could now allow the user to fly 50 feet towards any desired target. In addition, they developed a weapon similar to the UNSC's rocket launcher, except the user could fire approximately 1 bajillion rounds before reloading.
The UNSC then created a weapon similar to the original stardard-issue pistol, but instead of making it standard issue, it was reserved for maniacs who enjoy getting launched from orbital stations for a living. This new pistol was decommissioned after six hours.
The Covenant then realized that marines were using the plasma pistol and BR55 together to kill shielded Covenant easier, so they did the only logical thing and made the plasma pistol completely useless.
In order to combat Banshees in the absence of the pistol, the UNSC designed Hornets which, while incredibly boring to fly, looked totally kick ass.
Not wanting to fall behind on the manufacturing of overpowered weapons that make no sense, the Covenant designed a seven foot tall hammer that could destroy any enemy with one hit. This weapon was of course down graded when the Covenant realized it was useful.
Only with the help of the Elites with their retarded glowy things that somehow enabled the wielder to fly towards enemies, was humanity able to survive.
Weapons in the future [b]suck[/b].
[Edited on 03.02.2011 9:49 PM PST]
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LOL you forgot the DMR, remember Arbiter LOL remember?
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Lol ^_^
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hahahaha total win dude couldnt stop laughing
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Seriously in HAlO CE I threw a plasma grenade i'm playing Halo Reach the dang thing still hasn't blown up. I mean seriously it.....HOLY crap it just blew up!!!!! All my actually USEFUL Marines are all dead!!!!!
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[quote][b]Posted by:[/b] Hellduck This gave me a good laugh.[/quote]
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[quote][b]Posted by:[/b] Telec did the humans win? yes. so what are you whining about?[/quote] he's poking fun at bungie's weapon balancing through the series. he isn't complaining.
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This is true although just means the navy have better guns then the marines/army.
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this is by far the best forum post ever
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All I can say is "Nice."
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if i was the UNSC i would invest all my "ka Ching" in making the pistol THE MOST OVER FREEEKIN POWERED THING THE COVENANT HAD EVER SEEN and the given one to all marines and used the remaning dollars i had to make puny dropships in which i would use to carry all my troops at once to the desired battlefield.
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haha wooow thats awesome but u should have mentioned dual wielding
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I am surprised that this thread has not died yet?
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Well done that was pretty funny XD
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Perhaps future wars had a basic rule: Sportsmanship UNSC:'Should we shoot first?' 'No,we will wait and do nothing' Covenant:'They're not firing,should we?' 'No,we will wait and do nothing' Thank god the dumb Brutes got impatient...
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lol thats awesome [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] petarded2 Not wanting to fall behind on the manufacturing of overpowered weapons that make no sense, the Covenant designed a seven foot tall hammer that could destroy any enemy with one hit. This weapon was of course down graded when the Covenant realized it was useful.[/quote] Gave me a good laugh! i also liked the "1 bajillion rounds" part and the "did the only logical thing and made the plasma pistol completely useless" part
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Actually, All of This ISNT the Reason Humanity Was able to survive, It was due to the Spartan Program, Tactics And Pure Luck that They Actually Survived.
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I still haven't figured out why 500 years in the future they are still using mostly conventional ammunition.
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You might actually have a future in stand up comedy lol. This gave me a good laugh, Real T
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hey: the covenant and the UNSC had an agreement that thier soldiers should have fun annihilating each other's side. You got to think about the morale man THE MORALE!!!!!!!!!!
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[url=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZeXThbLZK8k]this thread[/url] is a [url=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9QS0q3mGPGg]win[/url]. [Edited on 08.28.2011 10:03 PM PDT]
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[quote][b]Posted by:[/b] Hellduck This gave me a good laugh.[/quote]
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Thread is toasting in epic bread.
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Lol. This explains so much, I now understand what really happened. Lol Honestly what military decides to cut the clip size of their main assualt in half, right in the middle of a war, decides to turn anamazing pistol into a pellet shooter, and "This weapon was of course down graded when the covenant realized it was useful" One of the greatest line's I've ever heard
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lolz <_>
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lol i crapped my pants
