A young boy went to a college philosophy class one day. The student arrived on time like usual. He had his suitcase full of his work. He was very diligent and well-read.
The professor walked in 5 minutes late, as usual. The professor stood at the front of the class and said, "gOD... is REAL."
This rubbed the student the wrong way. He was normally patient, but when it came to fundamentalist people who believed in gOD, he wanted none of it.
"gOD is real and you can't prove he isn't."
The student, obviously angered by this statement, stood up and shouted, "gOD doesn't even real."
The professor said, "Oh yeah? How can you even prove that?"
The student looked at the professor and smiled smugly. He reached into his suitcase and pulled something out.
The professor's eyes widened. He started sweating. He couldn't believe his eyes.
It was a can of Mountain Dew.
The student opened the can. The crack made the professor jump. The professor was mumbling quietly to himself.
The student took a sip of the can, while still smiling smugly at the professor who was obviously shaken by it. The professor started screaming.
The student started gulping the can of Mountain Dew.
The professor jumped on his desk and started seizing at the pure euphoria that he was experiencing at that moment.
The student finished the can of Mountain Dew in less than two seconds.
The professor's seizing stopped. He lay lifeless on his desk. The entire class stared in awe at what had just happened.
The professor's name? Mitt Romney.
And that student's name?
Albert Einstein.
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A Communist Liberal Atheist Vegan Hippe begins teach his Pro-Abortion class in the morning. He yells at the students "It's time to get on your knees and pray to your lord Darwin who is far more important than Jesus Christ!" At that time, a Pro-Life, COnservative, Christian, U.S. Navy-SEAL who has served 1500 tours of duty and agrees with every Military Action the U.S. has ever taken steps up. He takes out a rock and asks the professor "How old is this rock you hook nosed Liberal!" The professor gave an obnoxious grin before answering "2.4 million years old." "WRONG!" shouted the SEAL, "It was made 5500 years ago by God, according to you, if it was 2.4 million years old it would be an animal by now!" The Professor is visibly shaken, so much that he drops his book on "The Marxist Manifesto" before running out of the room crying Liberal Crocodile tears. He would have gone home and shot himself with a gun, but he himself petitioned gainst them! At that time everyone applaudes the man and registers with the Republican party that day. Then a bald eagle named "Small Government" flies into the room crying a tear of joy while dropping an American Flag down for the class. Everyone began to salute the eagle and recite the Pledge of Allegiance before going to Church and thanking God for bringing down a prophet to save them from the evils of Liberal Monster. PS: Close the borders.
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There's no proof that God is real. There's also no proof that He isn't real, either. Everyone loses in this argument.
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people should stop getting into other peoples business, why would you care what a stranger does and doesnt.
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If Mitt Romney is older than Albert Einstein then he must be using sorcery to make himself look young. He's a witch. BURN HIM!
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That story makes so much sense that there's now a floating cow passing by my window. Wait a minute...I don't even live near a farm...
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This could have been great if it wasn't written poorly
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Edited by KilljoyDetective: 7/29/2013 8:31:46 PMBut Mitt is the Illusive Man...
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I dont get it...
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What?
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Oh, look. Its this thread again.
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HOHOHOHOHOOOO
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Moron
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ITT: people taking my post seriously
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Come for the average story Stay for the people getting trolled
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lol, I made it out of Green Mountain! GOD IS FOR REALS!
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#JoKe
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Checkmate.
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OP, Albert is Einstein was a Pantheist...
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I was going to complain about how da grammarz duznt mach up, but this turned out to be a fairly odd read.
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can someone explain this?
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A christian came up with the original Big bang theory, just sayin'
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6/10 The other story is better.
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...Checkmate?
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Haha?