A test exists for this.
Step 1. Pull dick out of jeans
Step 2. Start up VoG (solo)
Step 3. Complete VoG using [b]only[/b] your dick to smack the controller.
[b]Warning:[/b] Must be completed [u]legit.[/u] None of that cheesing bullshit, noob.
If your dick starts to hurt before you kill Atheon, you're a Christmas Noob.
Edit: all women are Christmas Noobs by default.