I just got my the quickest way to get your boyfriend mad is to touch his ass. Girls love doing that shit like it's cute. They do it so swift and quick you don't even got time to react and stop that fruity ass shit before it happen. When you in public and your girl feel threatened by some thots, her grabbing yo ass is her way of claiming what is rightfully hers. I'm at the mall cause I decided to splurge on myself and my girl that day so I was looking majestic af like a freshly cooked cinnamon roll -blam!- you mean. We hit the food court and my girl say she want Panda Express and that she got to use the bathroom, so I was like Ite I'll get the food, she step off and these girls approach me and was like "hey aren't you that guy from Instagram." I said ye... ain't even get to finish my sentence. My girl clutched my right ass cheek with the Micheal Jordan free throw recovery dunk grip, her grasp on my ass was to the gods. I almost shit myself that grip was so deluxe. I ain't know it was her and almost swung around and destroyed her destiny. Whenever a girl touch a boy ass they always react the same way... Tf is you doin!?!? She lucky my brain react fast cause if I hadn't seen her soon enough her head would've separated from her body and landed next to that honey walnut shrimp. A -blam!- ass not meant to gripped at all, but she was just deflating my shit with the car mechanic grip. I wasn't a bitch but that day was the day for something new. My girl tell me to pay for the orange chicken and I responded yes mam fast as shit like a buzz lightyear voice command. She let go of my ass and on god I felt like weight was lifted off my body, I almost levitated to the register. I just sat down to eat my food and my whole body was lopsided, she destroyed me bruh.. Someone hand me my L badge

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I just got my [b][b][i][u]dorito eater[/u][/i][/b][/b] badge

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[i]I just got my pedophile badge![/i]

I just got my [i]badge[/i] badge! [spoiler]Do I win?...[/spoiler]

I just got my prostitute badge! Wait...