You are only gay if you don't like dick. A person like me who is confident in their heterosexuality is not afraid to like a good dick when they see one. If you think about it, the dick is the least gay thing about a guy that you could like. If you like his face or his abs, you are aroused by the abstract idea of his manliness, but if you only like his dick then you are clearly only interested in the direct pleasure that you yourself can derive from it. If you like a man's personality or hold his hand, then you are romantically attracted to him, which is, as those in the scientific community call it, gay as fu­ck. Sucking a dick or getting fu­cked in the ass is nothing more than a fun activity to pass the time, and fu­cking a man's ass is literally the same thing as fu­cking a woman's ass, which no one thinks is gay. Therefore, if you don't like gay sex, you are probably a raging homo.

Ha gaaaaaaaaay