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9/18/2014 6:26:44 AM
2
Not going to happen, despite being an American citizen, I was born in Norway, I am not thirty-five years of age, and I've only been living in America for four of the fourteen years required and I have no intention in staying in America any longer than I have to. That being said, if I were suddenly eligible for the position, convinced enough Americans that I was the sort of person they would like to have a beer with, didn't withdraw from the running just from the stress of constant travel, or lose to another presidential candidate; I would resign and live the rest of my life on my ridiculous presidential pension. My first act as ex-president would be having my brother buy a bunch of fancy alcoholic beverages and drink the night away with my brother and father as we laugh about how the world narrowly avoided a nuclear holocaust.
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