First off, like your tags. (Not meant to be offensive, if so sorry) But.. ehem. When a relationship gets to that point, usually it's best to just let it go and to move on. The longer somebody has had a relationship with anybody the harder it is to imagine not being with them and just accepting you're not together anymore. A person (whom I don't majorly personally know but she makes many of her relationship bumps known on Facebook and this is my look in) I know to a degree has been dating one guy for almost three years, but she's had A LOT of problems with her respective other. She's broken up with him countless times but they always 'patch things up' afterwards. They dated for a long time before these problems though. It's hard adjusting to life without somebody you've come to get used to, to think of as your significant other, but sometimes you just have to move on. Not to mention: it sounds to me your relationship started when you were.. relatively young. (Ie maybe 17 or younger) At this age when a relationship starts it can be very easy to find yourself allure to the other person. (I'm probably younger than you so you can probably ignore this note, just noting first or early relationships tend to hold a spot, ESPECIALLY physical ones) Sorry if this wasn't any help but.. just try to move on, dwelling on it won't help. Look back on the end of your relationship, and reflect on how healthy it really was towards the end and that might help. Good luck to you man.