More people need to read this! I was very into it, and was disappointed when I realized there wasn't more :/ You got me with the first post, and the second one just made it better. Great job man. Lots of grammar errors, but that's okay :) Pleases keep writing and I will keep reading.

Yeah. The funny thing about writing a story in a perspective such as this it gets kind of...awkward. Especially when your trying to integrate those dramatic pauses. I promise the next one will be in much better quality as it's sort of weird to post this on a forum. :l Thanks for reading! :D