Alarm rings, awoken from my sleepy slumber in my bed I lay so slender When I feel an unfamiliar itch and reach down to scratch my member I look under the sheets and see a barren landscape Ahhh, where's my dick I scream I run into the kitchen'n grabbed a cucumber'n some scotch tape This can't be happening, the hell there isn't even an opening Wait a sec, how the -blam!- am I supposed to piss?! Well, on the bright side I don't have to worry about if I miss