It's not as bad as it sounds. I was at this pub, The Half Door, gettin' messed up with my friends one night. This girl comes up to us, hammered as all -blam!-, and starts flirting wiht myself and my friend Mickey. One thing lead to another and we ended up back at my place. Six weeks later a cops at my door saying that I knocked up his 16 year old daughter. I polite told him that I haven't had the sex with any minors to which he revealed that the 21 year old I porked was actually sixteen and bearing child. I get slapped with a pedophile rap sheet and she has an abortion. The -blam!-ed up thing is that after I got out, she looked me up and apologized to me about lying about her age which led to my incarceration. Eight years, bro. Eight years.

Do I even want to know?