I made a final edit. [quote][b]Another quote from my English Degree graduate friend:[/b] "What book could I be reading to provoke such a visceral, tense response? Perhaps a book meant for children, causing some fear of social judgment? A self-help book, which might expose one of my perceived weaknesses? Or, a medical text, on something deeply personal? [u]It does not matter. I have read them all.[/u] In terms of explaining the reason for my discomfort, the third is closest to the mark." That bit there would be the part I would criticise most. Basically, my beef with that excerpt is that its a case of the author negating the power of the character. It reads as if you, the author, are actually ashamed of letting us know the nature of that book. So much so that you don't dare let us draw the very interpretations your character fears.[/quote]To which I responded "It is almost like my own reason for writing was hidden from myself" [quote]Yeah So you need to surrender that power and expose the book to the audience. That is the great challenge of writing, I suppose- laying bare those emotional conflicts for others[/quote]My friend was very convincing. I made two changes, as result. First, I revealed the book at the very end, with the line "My book, [title here], fell from my hand to the floor". Unfortunately, with this change, the text ran out of control. Ambiguity, I decided, was ultimately more relateable to the average reader, who can put themselves in a position where they might not have wanted to be asked the question. Going back on my first change, I then opted to remove "It does not matter. I have read them all", in order to strengthen the protagonist's voice. Another mistake. My friend - despite excellent insight - was wrong, imo, about what was important. The true significance is not the book itself, but the impotence and vulnerability of the protagonist, that he himself had pointed out. The above all considered, I've made a final change to the story (seriously!) I re-added "It does not matter. I have read them all." and also decided to add the line "My book fell from my hand to the floor", without specifying the text. I think the lack of trust, between the protagonist/writer and the reader, is particularly sad and interesting - which continues even after the fateful fall 'exposes' the book (I use scare quotes, because I honestly doubt people would care to look). The end also prompts the reader to wonder, "What are you reading?", with the knowledge that they cannot reasonably ask! As I said earlier, it is genuinely scary how much I put of my self into this piece. So much so, that "It is almost like my own reason for writing was hidden from myself" and some of my later editing actually took meaning from the text. It has been a fascinating learning experience :)