Right off the bat I'm gonna tell you that I didn't write this, and my friend sent me it. Wish I could tell you the source. I just thought it was funny and you would appreciate it. "A young boy went to a college philosophy class one day. The student arrived on time like usual. He had his suitcase full of his work. He was very diligent and well-read. The professor walked in 5 minutes late, as usual. The professor stood at the front of the class and said, "gOD... is REAL." This rubbed the student the wrong way. He was normally patient, but when it came to fundamentalist people who believed in gOD, he wanted none of it. "gOD is real and you can't prove he isn't." The student, obviously angered by this statement, stood up and shouted, "gOD doesn't even real." The professor said, "Oh yeah? How can you even prove that?" The student looked at the professor and smiled smugly. He reached into his suitcase and pulled something out. The professor's eyes widened. He started sweating. He couldn't believe his eyes. It was a can of Mountain Dew. The student opened the can. The crack made the professor jump. The professor was mumbling quietly to himself. The student took a sip of the can, while still smiling smugly at the professor who was obviously shaken by it. The professor started screaming. The student started gulping the can of Mountain Dew. The professor jumped on his desk and started seizing at the pure euphoria that he was experiencing at that moment. The student finished the can of Mountain Dew in less than two seconds. The professor's seizing stopped. He lay lifeless on his desk. The entire class stared in awe at what had just happened. The professor's name? Mitt Romney. And that student's name? Albert Einstein."