Non-sexual interpersonal relationships have always stuck me as unnatural. How can people ever get to know each other without intercourse? What can possibly fuel a relationship other than pe­nis? I was personally raised to believe that marriage was between a man with certain desires and stamina and a woman who knew how to open her holes and exist. Moreover, what of the adopted kids that these people ruin the lives of? What kind of a life can a person really live if he or she isn't haunted by the memory of Mom and Dad thrusting and moaning in response to "Mommy, I had a bad dre-?"