Yes, you must make pilgrimage to the Red Light Mountains, where the whore-monks train in the arts of a secret-technique for sex that has been passed to one successor for the last 1,000 years. You shall meet the latest successor in the mountains and she will show you the true way to sex. Go, young Jump Into Hell, your destiny awaits.

Prostitutes are a great way to get every STD known to man. Just go out with fat girls, much safer.

Try fat girls. You pay less, and have a lower likelihood of getting an STD or stabbed by her pimp. Plus, all you need to do is tell her you have a delicious chimichanga, and she's yours!

Train with men, they can teach you what you need to know.

No, they usually carry diseases and are just nasty. Just try it with a virgin, neither of you will know what you're doing.

No, just try your best on your own.

Personally I think that bonds are strengthened by strong, shared memories. That is what a big part of what a relationship really is, a sharing of experiences together. Here is my serious answer: be honest and open. When the time comes it may be awkward, but it will also be a fun and memorable bonding experience, provided you find a person that appreciates you for you. I also wouldn't worry too much about the so-called experience people have from doing quickies in a toilet. Learning a mechanical approach to sex (which is a likely outcome of toilet training and training with whores), rather than understanding the importance of an emotional connection and fulfilling your partner's needs, will ultimately be more damaging to any relationship you undertake.

Or... you could make a connection with a human being who accepts all this about you. I don't think that you should lose your virginity to a prostitute. I remember my first time, I wasn't amazing. But ten minutes later I was back at it, and really, it's not very hard. Stick it in, pull it out, repeat. Technique will come later. Don't be afraid to go slow and get a good feel for her love tunnel.

And waste not getting all those STDs? Fun Fact: STD transmission rates among College students are significantly higher than those between prostitutes and their clients.

You should have one on retainer for a while, yes

pr0nz