Chuck Norris is no Joke.

Necrobump

Chuck Norris once pissed in a tractor trailer. Today it's known as Optimus Prime

When Chuck Norris left for kindergarten he told his dad "you are the man of the house now until I get back."

Chuck Norris sells his urine as red bull.

Some of my favorites: Chuck Norris wears a live rattlesnake as a condom. Chuck Norris' first job was as a paperboy. There were no survivors. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is based on a true story. Chuck Norris once swallowed a turtle. When he crapped it out, it was 6 feet tall and a ninja. A man once taunted Chuck Norris with a bay of Lays potato chips saying "betcha can't each just one!" Chuck Norris ate the chips, the bag, and the man in one deft move. A ninja once challenged Chuck Norris to a fight. To make it fair, Chuck removed both his arms and one leg. After roundhouse kicking the ninja to death, Chuck sewed his limbs back on with a rusty tent spike and some bailing wire. A man once asked Chuck Norris if his real first name was "Charles." Chuck Norris simply stared at the man until his head exploded.

This thread is too dank for me.

I heard Chuck Norris died but he is ok now.

Chuck Norris was bitten by a king cobra. After three days of agonizing pain, the cobra died.

Chuck opened the vault of glass with a smile, he killed the Templar with a wink, strolled and conversed with the Gorgons and obliterated the very memory of atheon with a warm chuckle.

There aren't any

There was once a street named after Chuck Norris. They had to change it because no one crosses Chuck Norris and lives. Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King and got one. Chuck Norris died 10 years ago. Death is still working up the nerve to tell him.

Chuck Norris was shot yesterday. The funeral for the bullet will be held tomorrow.