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离题

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原先发布于:Writers Corner
2/8/2013 2:33:18 AM
3

Blades and Slabs.

I'm waiting for a good movie about what I have done. I wonder--who will play me? After all, what I have done is nothing short of my own personal masterpiece. Call it what you will; tasteless, abysmal, sickening... Murder. My knife is the brush and I am the instrument. The blade sinks into the skin with an almost orgasmic sense. I--love the feeling of cold, sharp metal severing something as fragile as flesh. The way that the meat glistens along the blade and coats it crimson is a feeling that I have long adored since my first taste of it. My slab laid before me helpless. My eyes became entranced to its warm, luminescence gloom. The possibilities are endless. Where did I begin? Do I start from the bottom and casually work my way upward? Or do I do the opposition? Maybe I am feeling a bit frisky; so I may go for the middle. Cut it up nice and clean. Yeah, that's right--nice and clean. Am I disgusting you yet? Perhaps making you uncomfortable? Either way, good. Once, I became so enticed by a particular section on my slab. So I carefully sank my blade inside and cut it out in a perfectly shaped square. It was perfection! No hesitation, no rounded edges, no tearing of this fine choice of prime slab. As I held it in my hand and let the juices flow between my fingers, and the heat warm my cold hand. I carefully placed it under my nose and let the aroma pass over my senses. It was at that moment, I could not wait any longer. I stuffed the slab into my gob. My perfectly cut, proportionally perfect slab into my disgusting and unclean mouth. It was heavenly... Not once have I had a Ribeye steak made this well!

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  • Get another one

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    遵守游戏礼仪。发送贴子前请花点时间阅读我们的行为准则 取消 编辑 创建火力战队 贴子

  • Nice and brief. I went from believing that the narrator was a deranged killer, to an artist with a clay slab, and finally to a obsessive, deceptive cook, although I think the artist bit wasn't your intention, just my own interpretation (as I enjoy clay sculpting). The imagery of him stuffing the slab into his voracious maw, that took me by surprise and made me laugh. The exclamation mark in the last sentence threw me off a little, I think a simple period would have sufficed and improved the delivery of the "punch line" by maintaining the mood. You made a grammatical error at the end of the second paragraph. It should read "luminescent gloom," right? Oxymoron? Hahaha. You use a lot of good imagery, but it feels like your story needs a bit more... how do I put this? Meat? (For reals here.) Thumbs up, Brute!

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  • Amusing. So we can all make public posts now? Or are you some type of administrator?

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