[quote]Most of you are younger than me, etc......Do bad things...[/quote] Nope, unless you came before '95. [i]Mothers tell your children, never do what I have done, and spend your lives in sin and misery, in the House of the Rising Sun[/i] [quote]Some cops have a sense of humor, some do not. The distinction isn’t important, do not talk to cops. [/quote] I'm applying to be a cop. [quote]Horse haired men must be either shredded, musically talented, or in a cult. If you’re skinny and don’t go outside, chances are it doesn’t work for you. [/quote] I have short hair, but am in a cult. [quote]Vodka Crans Taste Like Pain. [/quote] Just drink vodka by itself, it is Russian way. [quote]Smoke cigarettes, but only while you’re young, etc... [/quote] Smoking is bad for you, I am almost 30... [quote]Change your sheets. [/quote] Yes! [quote]Jewelry looks good on everybody. [/quote] I disagree, but if I did get anything it would be a men's claddagh ring... [quote]You have no reason at all to be afraid of rollercoasters, etc... [/quote] Truth, rollercoasters are great, I wonder if Six Flag's still exists? [quote]There will come a time when your lasagne attempt just doesn’t work out. Everything happens for a reason. Accept this failure, but do not accept it a second time. [/quote] I love making pasta. [quote]Your mom [i]has[/i] to call you handsome. Only let compliments from strangers go to your head. [/quote] I care for neither, and listen to neither. [quote]If everybody is staring at you, its not a good thing. Humanity doesn’t unify over much, except for glaring at the kid wearing a tail at the airport. [/quote] Humanity is weak, strut around like you own the place. [quote]Everybody enjoys Outkast. If they say they don’t, they’re lying to be different. [/quote] Honestly I don't think I've heard them, were they important? [spoiler]When you’re drunk, the floor is a wonderful place to sleep, etc... [/spoiler] As long as its not outside and not rainy, don't ask how I know. [quote]Your parents are your friends with authority perks, not dictators. If they act like dictators, they’re bad parents, who value being obeyed more than the happiness of their child. Dump em in the retirement camp. [/quote] You are your own authority, but yes, once senile you can qualm the older generations. I will be happy when I am old knowing that the generations before me are all dead. [quote]Fruit and vegetables are the yummiest. If you feel otherwise, you haven’t explored the genre enough. [/quote] I prefer venison, pork, and fish. [quote]Give gifts all the time. It doesn’t have to cost anything, or be thought out, or even really mean something. Just give. Last week I got a note. Just a note on some ripped paper. I’m keeping it forever. [/quote] I will not start the purge, sorry [quote]Minor acts of good vandalism are not illegal by moral standards. [/quote] Vandals shall be put in their place. [quote]Put half an onion on bee stings. This one works. [/quote] Ok. [quote]The customer is wrong pretty much all of the time. [/quote] Illiterate and incapable of reading the sign, also is weak and can't lift, all of them need loading help from Back Surgery. Back Surgeons must be making millions of dollars on people before they go shopping at retail. [quote]You’re allowed to take pigeons. Nobody will stop you. [/quote] I shall take their short lives. *birdshot intensifies* [quote]I’m wize. I’m answering pleas for wizdom should you have any, but I’m pretty sure I’ve covered it all [/quote] I have none, I don't exist...