Never forgetti

Rip in macaroni [spoiler] Here in my garage with my pasta linguini, but you know what I like more than pasta linguini? Macaroni. That's why I bought 7 new cupboards and filled them with over 2,000 new Kraft macaroni and cheese boxes. It's like the master chef Betty Crocker said, "the more you eat, the more you pasta." Now maybe you've seen my ted ex talk where I talk about how I eat a box of mac and cheese a day. You know, I eat a box of mac and cheese once a day not to show off, again it's about the pasta. In fact, the real reason I keep this pasta linguini isn't to show off. It's a reminder that wet noodle dreams are still possible. Not long ago, I was in a little town across the country, eating spaghetti scrap from an italian restaurant dumpster, no culinary arts degree to my name. But you know what, something happened that day that changed my life. I bumped into our lord and savior, the flying spaghetti monster, hallowed be his name. He showed me what he did to become a true pasta lord. Now this isn't a "get pasta quick scheme". I'm not promising you that tomorrow you're gonna go out and buy yourself some pasta linguini, but what I am telling you is, it can happen faster than you think if you know the proven steps. So, I record a little two minute video on my website. Not too impressive, like I said, it's on my iphone, but it's real. So, I'm gonna give you the three most important things you can do today. Invest in macaroni. Always start your pasta cooking with a rolling boil. Don't be a crooked noodle. [/spoiler]

I hate that commercial. I hate that I recognize it in that form. I hate the guy in that commercial. Reported, muted, banned. [spoiler]I [b]WILL[/b] find you...[/spoiler]