I imagine an obese dude reading this, flipping between the Bungie forums app, Pokémon Go, and a tracking app as well.. Furiously shaking his fist. Flubber bouncing. Sweat (not from walking and playing the game correctly, but from the leather couch and an abnormally high concentration of body heat) flying off of the clenched hand, wholly reminiscent of a potato. "BUT I DON'T WANNA WALK NIANTICCCCCCCC"