Now, this is a story all about how
My life got flipped-turned upside down
And I'd like to take a minute
Just sit right there
I'll tell you how I became the prince of a town called Bel-Air
In west Philadelphia born and raised
On the playground was where I spent most of my days
Chillin' out maxin' relaxin' all cool
And all shooting some b-ball outside of the school
When a couple of guys who were up to no good
Started making trouble in my neighborhood
I got in one little fight and my mom got scared
She said 'You're movin' with your auntie and uncle in Bel-Air'
I begged and pleaded with her day after day
But she packed my suitcase and sent me on my way
She gave me a kiss and then she gave me my ticket.
I put my Walkman on and said, 'I might as well kick it'.
First class, yo this is bad
Drinking orange juice out of a champagne glass.
Is this what the people of Bel-Air living like?
Hmm this might be alright.
But wait I hear they're prissy, bourgeois, all that
Is this the type of place that they just send this cool cat?
I don't think so
I'll see when I get there
I hope they're prepared for the prince of Bel-Air
Well, the plane landed and when I came out
There was a dude who looked like a cop standing there with my name out
I ain't trying to get arrested yet
I just got here
I sprang with the quickness like lightning, disappeared
I whistled for a cab and when it came near
The license plate said fresh and it had dice in the mirror
If anything I could say that this cab was rare
But I thought 'Nah, forget it' - 'Yo, home to Bel-Air'
I pulled up to the house about 7 or 8
And I yelled to the cabbie 'Yo home smell ya later'
I looked at my kingdom
I was finally there
To sit on my throne as the Prince of Bel-Air
My name is Link y'all Im straight outta Hyrule
Been on the force of good since 1986. Old school.
I'm bringin you a laid back summertime jam
Hold on a minute Link
Hey what's up Old Man?
I see that you're embarking on another epic quest
You're gonna use your Ocarina to rescue the Princess
But you'll need a magic weapon that'll never ever miss
It's dangerous to go alone take this
Oh thanks old man that is really very nice
I can always count on you for help and friendly advice
Though I've never seen a sword of quite that shape or size
Oh God that's not a sword it's your dick in disguise
Yes I can't lie I have painted my shween
Now grab your destiny if you know what I mean
Wait a minute Link don't leave the cave, where do you think you're going
This is a great chance to fondle old scrotum that you're blowing
That was weird but whatever there is no time to lose
I've gotta to warp right now to Zelda in this chilled out groove
Wait this isn't Ganon's lair, I'm in Liberty City
This place looks just like Philadelphia but even more shitty
I'm at the corner of Dead Cop and Prostitute junction
Something in my Ocarina must have gone and malfunctioned
I gotta fix it quickly, there is justice to do
Hold on a minute Link
Old man, is that you?
This is a place you can't survive with just your sword and your wits
It's dangerous to go alone. Take this!
Well that's really kind of...that's your wrinkled dick again
Look I know I wear a tunic, but I'm not into men
Don't be that way bitch, let me introduce you
To my three best friends: Mr. Johnson and the juice crew
If you see the Princess Zelda, well you know you're gonna grab her
So why don't you try to come grab my inflatable poo jabber?
OH MY GOD!
I've got to warp out of here, Princess Zelda awaits
I must defeat Ganondorf before it gets too late
Ok...now I REALLY don't know where I am
Hold on a minute Link
GodDAMMIT Old Man!
You're in Raccoon City, it's a zombie abyss
It's dangerous to go alone take....
NO! -blam!- YOU! I'M NOT GIVING YOU A...
STOP THE CHILLED OUT GROOVE!