That's because Bungie are a bunch of douchenozzles. I'm sure they think it sounds "hip" and "totally awesome" to use BRO language in their updates - but all it does is make them sound pathetically unprofessional. You're not connecting with your audience. You sound like that 40 year old dad who spray tans and greases his hair back jersey shore style. Just no. NO. I don't need to get my patch notes from a fat Paulie who can't find tap out shirts in his size. Just give me the facts - in plain and clear language, and stop inflating these updates with worthless jargon.