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[quote]Every day newly reanimated guardians arrive at the Tower expecting to see an army organized against the Darkness. The guardians at the tower usually do not live up to these expectations. Instead of ranks of respectable, battle-ready warriors, the new guardians typically find humanity's last hope dancing on cargo ship docking lights, climbing the Tower's lone tree, or simply staring blankly at nothing. Many guardians have been caught up for hours at a time in what some Vanguard authorities are calling "a disturbing trend of dereliction of duty." Commander Zavala is particularly disturbed by what he's sees. "These guardians ain't got no respect!" he said, in an interview with our correspondent. "They think this is some kinda game!" Ikora Rey, ever the iconoclasm of propriety and etiquette, disagreed. "We all know how demanding and tedious it can be to grind or farm or kill Phogoth again and again," she said. "These guardians need an outlet for that pent-up frustration." Rey, who currently holds the tower record for the Postmaster's fan-assisted high jump competition, said that she has always encouraged the behavior. "Once in a while, when my legs get stiff from standing in the exact same position all day, I enjoy a good round or two of tower ball." The objectiveless game usually ends abruptly when the ball is accidentally head-butted off the tower. The activities guardians participate in range from urban exploration and mass suicide to riotous Tower dance parties and potentially offensive guestures. Zavala claims that the activities detract from the guardians' duties. "Your ghost didn't bring you back from the dead so you could act a fool!" he said. Despite Zavala's attempts to curb the games and relaxed atmosphere of the tower, most guradians have carried on unhindered. "We're not deserting our duties," one guardian, who asked to remian annoymous said. "We know what's at stake here, but if we forget our humanity then what are we fighting for?" It is expected that guardians will continue their light-hearted behavior at the Tower. "It's the only home they have," Rey offered. "We've gotten many requests to add more life to the Tower, and I plan on doing everything I can to make that happen." Despite the enormous amount of rare engrams we bribed him with for comments, the Cryptarch, who has a good vantage point for observing the behavior, did not give us anything useful. "Always interesting," was all he said.[/quote] Nice bro!

Meanwhile the cryptarch is swimming in glimmer.

Funniest destiny related thing I have ever read. A genius piece of comedic relevance.

The citizens of the Last City sit frozen in fear in their homes as waves of Fallen, Cabal, Hive and Vex crash upon the walls of the city. Even the children know the Darkness is gathering it's strength to slaughter them all. But there is hope...up in the Tower, the Guardians train and strategize. They prepare to protect these people and so they feel a glimmer of hope. Meanwhile a Guardian in the tower spends his precious time humping a purple ball. Other guardians partake in a circle jerk dance party while others blast each other off the roof of the post office with an industrial fan. The Vanguard leaders contemplate suicide. Cayde-6 looks into the distance and thinks to himself, "That guardian is dancing on the edge of a pencil thin radio antennae..." As the Speaker watches a Guardian sacrifice his life to jump off the balcony in pursuit of a soccer ball, he looks off into the city and sighs, wondering if he should do the same instead of be alive to witness the Traveller wake up and implode from pure shock at the waste of it's light

[quote]Every day newly reanimated guardians arrive at the Tower expecting to see an army organized against the Darkness. The guardians at the tower usually do not live up to these expectations. Instead of ranks of respectable, battle-ready warriors, the new guardians typically find humanity's last hope dancing on cargo ship docking lights, climbing the Tower's lone tree, or simply staring blankly at nothing. Many guardians have been caught up for hours at a time in what some Vanguard authorities are calling "a disturbing trend of dereliction of duty." Commander Zavala is particularly disturbed by what he's sees. "These guardians ain't got no respect!" he said, in an interview with our correspondent. "They think this is some kinda game!" Ikora Rey, ever the iconoclasm of propriety and etiquette, disagreed. "We all know how demanding and tedious it can be to grind or farm or kill Phogoth again and again," she said. "These guardians need an outlet for that pent-up frustration." Rey, who currently holds the tower record for the Postmaster's fan-assisted high jump competition, said that she has always encouraged the behavior. "Once in a while, when my legs get stiff from standing in the exact same position all day, I enjoy a good round or two of tower ball." The objectiveless game usually ends abruptly when the ball is accidentally head-butted off the tower. The activities guardians participate in range from urban exploration and mass suicide to riotous Tower dance parties and potentially offensive guestures. Zavala claims that the activities detract from the guardians' duties. "Your ghost didn't bring you back from the dead so you could act a fool!" he said. Despite Zavala's attempts to curb the games and relaxed atmosphere of the tower, most guradians have carried on unhindered. "We're not deserting our duties," one guardian, who asked to remian annoymous said. "We know what's at stake here, but if we forget our humanity then what are we fighting for?" It is expected that guardians will continue their light-hearted behavior at the Tower. "It's the only home they have," Rey offered. "We've gotten many requests to add more life to the Tower, and I plan on doing everything I can to make that happen." Despite the enormous amount of rare engrams we bribed him with for comments, the Cryptarch, who has a good vantage point for observing the behavior, did not give us anything useful. "Always interesting," was all he said.[/quote] Lol!