Alarm rings, awoken from my sleepy slumber in my bed I lay so slender
When I feel an unfamiliar itch and reach down to scratch my member
I look under the sheets and see a barren landscape
Ahhh, where's my dick I scream
I run into the kitchen'n grabbed a cucumber'n some scotch tape
This can't be happening, the hell there isn't even an opening
Wait a sec, how the -blam!- am I supposed to piss?!
Well, on the bright side I don't have to worry about if I miss