The writing itself is fine. Well structured, and all that. But, you were [i]waaay[/i] too forefront with exposition. For example; [quote]This portion of the multiverse is mostly uncharted due to how empty it is. Most creatures in these universes died out long ago and yet Robo just found a place where magic thrives, and where there’s magic there are living things.[/quote] This just kinda came out of nowhere, and feels really awkward to read. It'd be better to give us some sort of context to the information getting thrown at us. For example; [quote]"How strange.." Robo said, staring over the map of the multiverse. "The anomaly seems to originate from around here.. But, that can't be right.." He flips through the computer, and pulls up various databases, quickly skimming through each of them. Just like he thought. This was the "Dead Zone". Most universes in this sector had extinguished themselves long ago, a concentration of this much magic in a place like this should be impossible..[/quote] In the revised version, rather than just being told the information, it's made clear these are the thoughts running through Robo's head. On another small sidenote, this one is more of a personal complaint rather than a definitive flaw, but I don't think a multiverse would be arranged spatially. Like, I don't think you could map it out, with certain areas having certain traits, I think rather it would be more of a metaphysical place, where nothing actually exists in a grander area, but just exists separately. Anyway, moving on, it seems [i]really[/i] weird to me that he would just suddenly know 1/5 people are inscribed. I think using more vague terms like "seems lightly distributed across the population, rather than a single concentrated point like he expected" might work better. After all, statistics make time to make. Finally, I don't think him sitting down in a library is the best way for him to learn about Epithets, at least, not unless he learns something big. Simply put, reading about someone sitting down to read isn't that interesting, unless what they're reading is also interesting, but you kinda said yourself that he didn't really learn anything that significant. I think it would've been much more interesting for him to just bump into an inscribed first, and go from there.