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原先發佈於:Providence Ideas
由OutsideRocket編輯: 5/17/2016 9:36:06 PM
11
FIRST! [spoiler]Also, some of the story is in present and some of it is in past tense, you might want to edit that[/spoiler]
English

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  • Quote the parts.

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  • 由OutsideRocket編輯: 5/17/2016 9:46:22 PM
    Dennis hears him plop down onto the ground, and turns his attention to him. He walks over and sits down next to Rush, putting his arm around him, comforting him. "We'll find her," he says monotonously. "We will, trust me on this." "We're gonna need a miracle..." Rush sighs, leaning back on the wall. He looked up, staring at the roof of the Fallen Ketch. "A big one too..." Rush looks up at his Ghost, and stands up almost immediately. He smiles, and contacts Gizmo via comm link. He tells Gizmo to meet them at the entrance of the Ketch, where they would group up once again. Rush ends the link and looks at Dennis. She tries and tries to escape the bonds keeping her attached to the wall. A worker bot frame walked up to Cayde with a piece of paper in it's robotic hands. Cayde looks at the bot frame and takes the paper from it's hands and dismisses it. He reads over the paper and gives it to Ikora. "It's one of your Warlocks," Cayde said, continuing to rock back and forth in his chair. Ikora looks at Cayde and then the paper.

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  • It made more sense to me when I was up at 3 AM writing this. And frankly, I'm too tired to edit as well. You edit for me, lol.

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  • Come on Feej, you can't be [i]that[/i] lazy!

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  • Actually I am.

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  • Well, no one else can do this for you so get up ya lazy bum!

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  • Well, you're the one who found the mistakes, fix 'em for me.

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  • Fine

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  • Lots of love.

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  • Here, copy and paste where needed, I also fixed some simple mistakes. Dennis heard him plop down onto the ground, and turned his attention to him. He walked over and sat down next to Rush, putting his arm around him, comforting him. "We'll find her," he said monotonously. "We will, trust me on this." "We're gonna need a miracle..." Rush sighed, leaning back on the wall. He looked up, staring at the roof of the Fallen Ketch. "A big one too..." Rush looked up at his Ghost, and stood up almost immediately. He smiled, and contacted Gizmo via comm link. He told Gizmo to meet them at the entrance of the Ketch, where they would group up once again. Rush ended the link and looked at Dennis. She tried and tried to escape the bonds keeping her attached to the wall. A worker bot frame walked up to Cayde with a piece of paper in its robotic hands. Cayde looked at the bot frame and took the paper from its hands and dismissed it. He read over the paper and gave it to Ikora. "It's one of your Warlocks," Cayde said, continuing to rock back and forth in his chair. Ikora looked at Cayde and then the paper.

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  • Thanks.

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