1. Pluck the tail hairs off... One. By. One. 2. Use the hairs and create a makeshift rope. 3. Strangle the pony, then begin tying it up. 4. Grab corn cobs. 5. Eat corn cobs while you watch the pony starve. 6. Poke the pony with your remaining corn cobs. 7. Boil water. 8. Pour the boiling water slowly into the eyes. 9. Heat up a pan to the highest temperature. 10. Rub the hot part onto the pony's lips. 11. Make sure it has cuts. 12. Lather salt onto the wounds. 13. Run away. 14. Dress up as the pony's mother. 15. Pretend to free the pony. 16. Now instead of freeing it, -blam!-ING USE AN AXE, CHOP OF ITS LEGS, AND REPEATEDLY WHACK ITS FACE WITH ITS OWN LIMBS. 17. Relax. 18. Watch a movie with it while it dies. 19. Now use chopsticks and carefully pluck its eyebrows. 19. Make that into a rope. 20. Begin to decapitate slowly with ropes (sliding it back...and forth) 21. If the ropes don't work, bring back that axe. 22. Once its dead, teebag it.. Let your testicles bounce on its carcass. 23. Congratulations, you probably killed it in the strangest way possible... probably...