RESULTS: It was probably the most hilarious yet the most embarrassing thing to have happened to me. I asked to have it recorded but it wasn't allowed (trust me I tried ;-;) We arrive at the church and im there I am not giving a shit. I see the audience and realize how many dumb shits actually believe I'm possessed. The priest then starts our little show. He starts yelling at me "I speak to the demon inside you! What is your name!?" I respond with a smartass remark. "My name is Anthony and I'm not -blam!-ing deaf." He yells at me for swearing in a church. Then he grabbed his holy water. Now I came prepared. I brought a water bottle from home. When he threw the water on me, I dumped my whole bottle all over his robe. I hear a few people laugh. He is -blam!-ing pissed and slams the bible on my forehead. I then let out the most boring, anti-climactic scream I've ever done (in monotone). Some people just start dying of laughter and the other half is very disappointed because "it didn't work blah blah blah." The priest is just done with everything and I get my brother and start walking to my car. The people who laughed left with me. While walking out the door I scream "PRAISE THE SUN!!" But wait! It's not over.. 2 very pissed off Catholics approached me and threatened me. They said they will find me and "get this demon out of me and free my soul for God." Whatever though. I'm not to worried about those guys. Most of my family now doesn't like me except for my brother, my secret athiest cousin and my Dad. Feel free to AMA :D

You have two options: You can calmly and rationally explain your stance, and explain that you are still a moral person. Or You can wait for the exorcism and have some fun. Once the priest starts up, you start screaming gibberish, at some random point collapse and start thrashing about whilst screaming bloody murder. Look the priest dead in the eyes and in your best evil voice say, "its all lies, marry was no virgin, she was a whore!" Continue to thrash and scream then just before its done say, "long live lord Lucifer!" And "pass out" then stand up like nothing happened.

I will never leave your body

So how did it go? I can't find it.

Ask the Pasture guy half way through the practice, [quote]If Jesus is the lamb of God, and he was Mary's son, does that mean Mary had a little lamb?[/quote] Than proceed to quote Steven Hawking.

I was 13 and depressed do I was cutting myself and instead of being loving parent that cared to talk to me my mother had me exercised it took about 2 hours till I gave up and played almond just to make it stop I quit after that just because I didn't want to deal with it again now I'm 23 and am an atheist myself Point being if they want you to be Christian they need to show compassion thier faith teaches not force or thier gonna just drive you away not just from "god" but family as well Idk if your showing your parents these posts but this one my be one to consider take it from someone that has gone though a BS exercism P.S. If they follow through with exercising you don't hold it against them if there is white pearly gates after life they just want to see you there. They are scared and it may be wrong but try to see the "good" behind their rash actions

Now's your chance to vomit on someone without any consequences!

Hail sithis

Should've added #hardcorechristians

Hey, OP. Just so you know, you may have run into a "splinter" of Catholicism. Basically, a bunch of Catholics who kept everything the same ritual-wise and just stopped following the Vatican. That's probably why your parents were able to get authorization from the priest. Plus, what you experienced sounds nothing like an exorcism, just a bunch of weird people hitting you with Bibles. However, the Bible-hitting may be grounds for assault charges. My advice? Build up a legal case against the church and your parents in particular. Us actual, sane Catholics know there's nothing wrong with someone whose life is morally sound, whatever they believe.

Lol this is hilarious I'm christian but these people sound -blam!-ed up for thinking you were possesed lol

╚═( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)═╝ ╚═(███)═╝ ╚═(███)═╝ .╚═(███)═╝ ..╚═(███)═╝ …╚═(███)═╝ …╚═(███)═╝ ..╚═(███)═╝ .╚═(███)═╝ ╚═(███)═╝ .╚═(███)═╝ ..╚═(███)═╝ …╚═(███)═╝ …╚═(███)═╝ …..╚(███)╝ ……╚(██)╝ ………(█) ……….*

You are awesome. Thank you for this deed you have done.

[quote]Christians[/quote] sounds more like they're catholics to me.