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由Papo Pechuga编辑：
7/10/2017 11:58:26 PM
20
Looking forward to the peregrine greaves.[spoiler]What if everything you ever wanted...
WAS TO KICK SHIT IN THE FACE!? FOREVER!
[b]THEN YOU NEED[u] PEREGRINE GREAVES[/u]!!![/b]
PUT THESE[b] SWEET-ASS LEGS ON YOUR TITAN[/b] AND[b] YOU WILL F***ING DECIMATE THINGS WITH YOUR POWERFUL KNEES[/b]. THEY ARE[b] GEMS[/b]. YOU WILL LOOK [b]GLAMOROUS[/b] LIKE A [b]STYLISH LADY[/b] WHILE YOU [b]KNEE SOMEONE IN THE THROAT SO HARD THEIR TEETH GO FLYING OUT OF THEIR ASSHOLE![/b] YOUR LEGS ARE [b]BEDAZZLED! [/b]BEDAZZLED WITH THE[b] STRENGTH OF 1,000 KODIAK BEARS[/b] IF KODIAK BEARS GAVE[b] ZERO F***S[/b] ABOUT GRAVITY AND EVOLVED TO DO [b]SWEET JUMPKICKS! [/b]
YOU WILL SET YOUR CHILD ON YOUR KNEE TO GIVE HIM SOUND FATHERLY ADVICE AND[b] THAT CHILD WILL F***ING EXPLODE[/b] BECAUSE [b]YOUR KNEES ARE INSTANT DEATH![/b][b] YOUR SON WILL DIE! [/b]YOUR WIFE WILL DIVORCE YOU! [b]YOU WILL DIE ALONE ATOP THE MOUNTAIN OF CORPSES YOU'VE LEFT IN YOUR WAKE AS YOUR LIFE DISSOLVES INTO A NIGHTMARISH HELLSCAPE OF VIOLENCE AND DEPRAVITY! [/b]
YOU WILL[b] TAKE PEREGRINE GREAVES INTO THE CRUCIBLE [/b]AND YOU WILL[b] MASSACRE PEOPLE![/b] YOU WILL[b] F*** THEM UP![/b]
[b]YOU WILL KNEE BLADEDANCERS![/b] DENIED! [b]GET THAT BUTTERKNIFE THE F*** OUT OF HERE![/b]
[b]YOU WILL KNEE RADIANT WARLOCKS [/b]AND CAUSE THEM TO [b]WEEP RADIANT TEARS![/b]
[b]YOU WILL KNEE GOLDEN GUNSLINGERS[/b]...[b][i]CAREFULLY[/i][/b]....
[b]YOU WILL KNEE OTHER TITANS IN THEIR BUBBLES[/b], DIVING INTO THEIR[b] NEON DISCO DANCE PARTIES BLIND AS SHIT[/b] AND [b]MURDERING [/b]THEM WITH YOUR[b] ENERGY LEGS[/b]! IT IS[b] YOUR BUBBLE NOW SO FU*** THAT GU[/b]---wait, shit...[b]THE BUBBLE IS GONE BECAUSE OF YOU GODDAMMIT WHY THE F*** DID YOU DO THAT!? [/b]
YOU WILL[b] RUIN YOUR K/D[/b] LIKE I HAVE BECAUSE YOU ARE[b] ADDICTED[/b] TO THE SWEET,[i] SWEET[/i] SOUND OF [b]INSTANT AIRBORNE DEATH[/b]! YOU WILL CATCH SO MANY [b]SHOTGUN BLASTS TO THE FACE [/b]AND IT WILL BE [b]WORTH IT[/b] WHEN YOU [b]KNOCK A BLADEDANCER THE F*** OUT[/b] BEFORE HE CAN CHOP UP YOUR TEAM![b] EVERY PAINFUL DEATH WILL BE VALIDATED [/b]AS[b] YOUR LEG COLLIDES WITH A FIERY WARLOCK'S FAGGY GOAT HAT SO HARD THAT HE'S RENDERED BRAIN-DAMAGED[/b] AND HIS FAMILY[b] FIGHTS WITH THE STATE OF TEXAS[/b] TO [b]TAKE HIM OFF OF LIFE-SUPPORT! HE WILL LIVE OFF OF TUBES! BECAUSE OF[i] TEXAAAAAAS! [/i]
[/b]
[b]PEREGRINE[i] GREEAAAAAAAAAAVES[/i]!!![/b]
English
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由Oddish43编辑： 7/11/2017 1:38:42 AMHave some of this, Peregrine Greeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaves. DO YOU LIKE SUPERS? DO YOU LIKE POWERING UP YOUR LIGHT AND SMACKING THE CRAP OUT OF SOME SMELLY CAPTAIN OR SHRIEKY WIZARD OR SNOOTY FELLOW GUARDIAN WITH IT? DO YOU LIKE WALKING UP TO LIVING THINGS AND [b]DISINTEGRATING THEM INTO DISPERSING CLOUDS OF VOID-VIOLATED MOLECULES?[/b] IF SO, YOU NEED TO GET OFF YOUR LAZY PORKY GUARDIAN BUTT. GO DIG DIG DIG THROUGH THE RELIC IRON LUMPS ON MARS SO YOU CAN GET YOURSELF A DARK-DRINKER. STUPID STRIKER THINKS HE'S ALL THAT BECAUSE HE'S GOT A FISTO PANIC, THAT'S ONE FISTO PANIC. AND GUNSLINGER LOOOOVES HIMSELF BECAUSE HE'S GOT THREE HOT LITTLE GOLDEN BULLETS. ALONG COMES SUNBREAKER, SHE THINKS SHE'S HOT SNOT ON A SILVER PLATTER BECAUSE OF HER SEVEN GLOWING HAMMERS. WELL GUESS WHAT?! STRIKER, YOU ARE ACTUALLY NONE OF THAT! GUNSLINGER, NO ONE WILL EVER LOVE YOU! AND SUNBREAKER, YOU'RE ACTUALLY ICY COLD BOOGERS ON A GREASY OLD PAPER PLATE SOMEONE DUG OUT OF THE GARBAGE! SEVEN HAMMERS? PATHETIC. THE GUARDIAN WHO CARRIES THE MIGHTY DARK-DRINKER CAN HAVE SEVENTEEN, COUNT 'EM SEVENTEEN SUPERS! [b]SEVENTEEN WHIRLING SWIRLING FLESH-SHREDDING BONE PULVERIZING SUPERMASSIVE VORTEXES OF DEATH! [/b]AND YOU DON'T HAVE TO WAIT FOR ANYTHING TO CHARGE! AND YOU DON'T HAVE TO DROP 'EM ALL AT ONCE LIKE THOSE GOLDEN WEE-WEE SHOTS OR HAMMERS! GOT A CAPTAIN IN FRONT OF YOU? SLICE HIM UNTIL HE'S CAPTAIN COLD CUTS! GOT A THRALL SWARM COMING YOUR WAY? ONE VORTEX AND THEIR LIQUEFIED REMAINS ARE SPLATTERED ALL OVER YOU LIKE A SPILLED MILKSHAKE! YOU'LL NEED A WET-VAC TO CLEAN THEM UP AND AIN'T NO WAY ANYONE'S GONNA IDENTIFY WHICH FRAGMENT CAME FROM WHICH THRALL! GOT VEX? CHOP THEM INTO EIGHT-BIT BYTES, THEN CHOP THE BYTES INTO BITS, AND THE BITS INTO TEENY-WEENY GRANULES OF METAL! GOT TAKEN? ONE BIG SPIN AND YOU'LL TAKE THEM DOWN, TAKE THEM OUT, TAKE THEM APART, [b]TAKE THEIR MOLECULES AND ATOMS AAND SCATTER THEM LIKE GLOWY WHITE CONFETTI![/b] SPLICERS? YOU CAN UNSPLICE THEM AND MAKE A NICE REFRESHING FALLEN FRAPPE OF 'EM. XUR NOT GIVE YOU THAT EXOTIC YOU WANTED? YOU CAN TURN HIS TENTACLE FACE INTO CALAMARI! TIRED OF ZAVALA'S CRAP? GIVE HIM THE SUPERMASSIVE VORTEX AND [b]WATCH MOLECULE SIZE CHUNKS OF EGG HEADED COMMANDER FLY AROUND THE ROOM LIKE CANDY FROM A BROKEN PINATA![/b] IT'S THE PERFECT TOY FOR DEALING WITH LIFE'S VEXATION! BOSS FIRES YOU? SLICE HIM TO BOSSY BITS! COP PULL YOU OVER FOR SPEEDING? TIME TO BREAK THE LAW... INTO TEENY WEENY PIECES! IDENTITY THIEVES? IRS AGENTS? TRANSGENDER PEOPLE IN YOUR BATHROOM? [b]YOU KNOW WHAT TO DO, GUARDIAN! [/b]YOUR WIFE SAYS SHE'S GONNA LEAVE YOU AND TAKE EVERYTHING? SHOW HER A DARK DRINKER DIVORCE! (no, you don't kill her)... BUT YOU CHOP UP THE HOUSE AND THE CAR AND EVERYTHING ELSE SO THERE'S NOTHING LEFT FOR HER TO GET! SHE'LL HAVE TO LIVE IN A CARDBOARD BOX AND TAKE THE SMELLY METRO BUS AND EAT OUT OF DUMPSTERS UNTIL SHE'S 96 AND USING A WALKER! ALL THANKS TO THE MIGHTY... [b]DAAAAARK DRRRRINKER!!!!!!![/b]
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[spoiler]PEREGRINE GREAVEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEES[/spoiler]
