He flys in the Tower. He gets a gift for every public event. He swims in Destiny. He finds exotics in normal chests. He completes all patrol-mission. He has an exotic Ghost. The first thing he ever does in Destiny was the Raid in the Beta. He can choose a shemale. He has fourth class. He one shots in the crucible without a headshot. He doesn't need a safe-spot at any boss.

"I dont always buy from Xur, but when I do He is selling shitty things."

In PvP he has a yellow health bar

He stores his loot in.... [spoiler]the vault of glass [/spoiler] Badum cshhh

Gjallarhorn replaces its rockets with his fists.

He once had a staring contest with the Oversoul's Gaze. He won.

This will not die

The architects got killed by him.

He is the Xbox exclusive.

While other guardians search the universe for light, he uses the clapper. He is the most interesting guardian in the world

He doesn't go into orbit, the planet orbits him

When he dances with u, the message says your dancing with him

Whenever someone doesn't have time to explain, he'll explain it to you.

The Queen owes him a favor.

He explained to The Stranger why she DID have time to explain.

When he gets killed in crucible other guardians rage

Sounds like some mixed twist on some chuck Norris jokes as well.

[quote]Alright, I thought we could have some fun coming up with destiny-like parodies to "the most interesting man in the world" quotes from Dos Equis. For example: When the Gorgons see him, they kill themselves out of respect. When traveling to other planets, he can skip the loading screen. The Stranger has time to explain to him why she doesn't have time to explain. Let's see some creativity, Guardians! Later on I will try and update the OP with the best ones! [b][u]Posts from below[/b][/u] The Vanguards all have a reputation level with him. When he walks into Crota's room and teabags down, Crota disconnects. The Loot Cave still works for him. I don't always play with balls in the tower, but when I do, I play with my own. Atheon gets lost in the dark corners of time to escape him. When he fires a rocket inside of a bubble everyone outside of it dies. He tells rahool what engrams will decode into. Crota tries to cheese him and fails. He dual wields Gjallarhorns as his primary weapon He negates the ritual of negation Oracles succumb to him Valus calls him a bullet sponge. He is the oracle disruptor. He can take down crota without a sword. He goes down into the abyss and chases the thralls for fun. He still uses the khostov, with 331 damage I don't always die in a Nightfall strike, but when I do, I do it in a place where it's impossible to be revived without killing my fireteam. I don't always drop my Ward of Light in front of teammates, but when I do, it's when they are firing a rocket launcher. He's so good Super Good Advice returns every missed round.....except he never misses. He does not shoot the gjallarhorn at Crota, the gjallarhorn shoots him at Crota Thralls guide him through the maze The queen owes HIM several favors. The fallen don't mind that s/he took their pikes. Vandal seeker bullets run away from him/her. His supers are considered Genocide on 2 planets. He plays the deathsinger's song on the radio on his way home from work He knows atheons birthday He opens Crota's 3rd chest every week He was Kabr's fire team leader He has tea every Thursday with the stranger. He has Lord Shax's other horn mounted on his wall He planted the Iron banner tree When he sings ir yut dies His character has a beard. He got the speaker to tell him about the great battle Made his own grimoire He turn bad juju into good juju Exotic weapons use him. His character has a beard. He is the son that Oryx wish he had... Guardians don't want to become legend, they want to become him... I don't always do Crota legit, but when I do, he is forced to kneel before me... thanks to him, Omnigal screams at the sight of a guardian... When you risk inspecting his inventory, you risk blinding yourself... The stranger gave him fate of all fools... He won a staring contest with the over soul... When a boss kills him in a nightfall, they get a flaming head... He doesn't complain to Bungie, Bungie complains to him... He doesn't summon a sparrow, he summons an interceptor... The nexus stays on the cliff and snipes him The templar pushed himself off the cliff so he didn't have to fight him. He can walk on Jupiter. He can access his bank from anywhere. When legions are summoned, they run away from him. He had "Your team is falling behind" removed from crucible because he doesn't lose. He installed the new DLC, saw there wasn't any content, so he made his own expansion pack. He patrols Mars from the tower .Destiny servers connect to him. He is a public event. The warsat defends him. Xur looks for him when he arrives at the tower. The Nine seek him for advice. He can convert ascendant materials into radiant ones. He can stack Gift of the Sun with Starfire Protocol. His Ruin Wings cause only Heavy Ammo to drop. His Grimoire Score is the infinity symbol He doesn't need the Last Word, he is the Last Word. He sends the nightfall back to orbit When he arrived, it sparked a golden age for the Traveler Xur runs the nightfall in hopes for his weapons on the weekend He started of at level 20 When he dies, he regains heavy ammo. Ketch me if you can, he caught. Let the lols begin! [u]EDIT:[/u] thank you for all of the replies! In order to not make the OP too long, I will not be posting anymore for right now. I encourage you to go through the replies! Too many good ones to list them all![/quote] Loving it