What the -blam!- did you just -blam!-ing say about me, you little -blam!-? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the -blam!- out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my -blam!-ing words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, -blam!-er. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re -blam!-ing dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your -blam!-ing tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re -blam!-ing dead, kiddo.

Did you ever hear the Tragedy of Trials of Osiris? I thought not. It's not a story the Vanguard would tell you. It's a Guardian legend. Osiris was a Warlock of the Traveller, so powerful and so wise he could use the Light to influence the Ghosts to create life... He had such a knowledge of the Light that he could even keep the ones he cared about from dying. The dark side of the Light is a pathway to many abilities some consider to be unnatural. He became so powerful... the only thing he was afraid of was an error code preventing him from reaching the Lighthouse, which eventually, of course, happened. Unfortunately, he taught his apprentice Bungie everything he knew, then his apprentice disabled Trials in the middle of the afternoon on a Friday. It's ironic, he could go flawless, but the flawless passage was, itself, flawed...

You just never quit, do you? Took out ghaul. Woke up the traveler. And now half of what i hear in the streets is how much you and your clan are making a difference. And that's why i started this whole clan thing in the first place. People are still waiting for the Vanguard to lead the way. But it's time for a change! And guardians like you are making it happen. No pressure

babe, i’m breaking up with you. it’s not you, you were poggers. it’s me, i’m omegalul. im sorry if this is pepehands but it has to be done, i’ve just been feeling pepega and our relationship has been weirdchamp for months, it’s time to end it, no kappa

You just never quit, do you? Took out ghaul. Woke up the traveler. And now half of what i hear in the streets is how much you and your clan are making a difference. And that's why i started this whole clan thing in the first place. People are still waiting for the Vanguard to lead the way. But it's time for a change! And guardians like you are making it happen. No pressure.

Trials KEKW