[quote]How many [insert sister's name here]'s does it take to screw in a lightbulb? [spoiler]None. She just holds it up and expects the world to revolve around her until it's in.[/spoiler][/quote][quote]A turtle is teaching a duck to speak French. "OK, Duck. In French, the word for 'Yes' is 'Oui'. Got that? 'Yes' equals 'Oui'. 'Yes', 'Oui'... OK, now you try." The duck opens it mouth and says...[spoiler]"Quack"[/spoiler][spoiler]What were you expecting? Ducks can't speak French.[/spoiler][/quote][quote]So one day, a couple of lions are tormenting some ducks. After a few hours of chasing, catching, and scaring the living bejeebus out of the ducks, they go home. That night, the magical duck fairy visits their home and places a curse on the male lion, turning him into a stag. The next morning, the husband wakes up and walks into the bathroom where he suddenly sees his reflection.[spoiler]"Dear/Deer me!" he cries.[/spoiler][spoiler]"You ain't lyin'/lion!" his wife replies.[/spoiler][/quote][quote][b][u]Sister:[/u][/b] Dad, can you make me a sandwich? *Dad waves hands mystically* [b][u]Dad:[/u][/b] Poof! You're a sandwich![/quote]