The warpriest has to prove he is worth to chuck Norris Chuck Norris makes caterpillar become butterfly and fly away When throw a hammer at chuck Norris, it goes flying back to you because the hammer knows what happened last time The brand of immortality directly goes to chuck Norris Chuck Norris can one shot golgorth with a khvostov and without any reclaimed light Omnigul screams because of the horrible things chick Norris did to her The hive created their oversouls to escape being killed by chuck Norris, too bad it didn't work The vex cannot simulate chuck Norris Chuck Norris still gets engrams from the sky watch loot-cave, but all the engrams that drop to him are exotic All the bosses activate a three of coin when facing chuck Norris Chuck Norris gets to the lighthouse with only a khvostov and being 12 light Chick Norris has been the only person able to wear Oryx's ass like a hat The worm gods were some parasites living in chuck Norris' stomach Chuck Norris is the reason the speaker wears a mask If you use touch of malice's last perk on chuck Norris, it deals 1/99999999999999 of the base damage and you die at the first shot That's all I have.

Chuck Norris makes Destiny contact their own servers

Chuck Norris once used Fist of Havoc, that area is now known as the [b]Hellmouth.[/b]

Gorgons have to avoid Chuck Norris' gaze.

Chuck Norris can still push aetheon off the edge.

Chuck Norris can get precision hits on Vex Minotaurs. [spoiler]with a fusion rifle.[/spoiler]

Chuck Norris is iron banner rank 6. Chuck Norris has a 320 attack shader. Chuck Norris has a ship called the traveller. Chuck Norris is a warlock hunter titan. Chuck Norris was the first curse and the last word. Chuck Norris is a relic holding sword bearer. Next gen is holding back the Chuck Norris DLC. Chuck Norris cut the content (With his mind) When you activate hammer of sol Chuck Norris runs at you! Chuck Norris brushes his teeth with a 4th horseman. Chuck Norris solo'd the trials of Osiris and went to the lighthouse on his sparrow and when he opened the chest (with his mind) he won a cabal tank which he dismantled for weapon parts (with his mind) Chuck Norris's ghost is 800 pounds and highly militarised. Chuck Norris has time to explain why he doesn't have time to explain. Chuck Norris's feet have the perk final roundhouse. I'm done. [spoiler]Chuck Norris ignited your rift and captured your zones[/spoiler] [spoiler](with his mind)[/spoiler]

Chuck Norris is the reason Taniks has no house.

Best Chuck Norris line... Jesus walks on water.. ... Chuck Norris swims through land.

Edit: I don't claim this. Found this on a random thread, and idk if he wrote it. Oh well. The year is 2048 >Trump's Empire has taken Europe and is now invading North Korea >Trump the Ever-Living is working on plans for his Mars base >One of Trump's advisers entered the war room >"My Lord, we just received news that your strike team has failed. Kim Jong Un is still alive." >Trump stood up from his solid gold throne >"Looks like I have to do this myself." >"Sir?" >The Trumptator adjusted his tie >"I need a weapon." >Trump's holocopter (a helicopter with a cloaking device) positions itself above Kim Jong Un's palace >"This shouldn't be long." >He jumps from the holocopter without a parachute >Trump lands standing up, his solid gold armor preventing any bodily harm >The palace's doors open on their own upon Trump's arrival >Lord Trump moves quickly through the palace >The guards put up little resistance, the Trumptator taking them out with headshots >Trump the Immortal enters the throne room and is quickly surrounded by palace guards >They encircle him and take his gold plated assault rifle >"Rooks rike you're stumped!" said the Korean Dictator with a smile >Trump smirks "I don't think so." >Our lord unleashes his dual omni-blades and cuts down the guards in a matter of seconds >Kim Jong Un takes out a handgun from his inside his jacket >"FRUK YOU!" he screams as he empties the magazine >Trump raises his hand and stops all of the bullets Darth Vader style >Lord Trump aims his trademark gold plated revolver at the Korean dictator >"Kim.." >A bead of sweat ran down the side of Kim Jong Un's face >Trump the Undying pulled back the hammer and smirked >"You're fired" PART 2: >The year is 2066 >Wake up, turn on TNN (Trump News Network) >Watch the destruction from the Blitzkrieg of Europe >Think to myself "Thank God I live in Trumptopia" >Look outside my window >Notice the Trumpstapo kick down my neighbors door >They drag out my neighbor, Francisco Pedro Alejandro Gomez >Trumpstapo force him onto his knees >A man in solid gold comes up to my neighbor, closely followed by his guards, the Trumpen-SS >I squint and notice that it's him, it's really him >Trump the Ever-Living >Trump the Undying >Trump the Conqueror >The other neighbors started to gather around >"You're illegal aren't you?" Our Lord asked >"No senor, no no!" >"That's what they all say" >The Trumpstapo got him on his feet "What should we do with him, my Lord?" >The Trumptator smirked >My neighbors begin to chant >"Wall! Wall! Wall! Wall!" >"Send him to the Wall! Take him away!" >My neighbors cheer and celebrate >Several days later >Turn on TNN >On Fridays, TNN live streams the Wall >All the illegals found that week are stood up on top of the Great Trump Wall >Notice my neighbor is among them >A man in solid gold appears on top of the Wall >How he gets there is unknown, he just does it, he's Trump the Ever-living >The camera zooms in on our Lord >"To all illegals that continue to taint Trumptopia, I will find you. And I will stump you." >Lord Trump begins to kick each illegal one by one off the wall >Their screams echo and quickly disappear as they fall to their death >Those that came to Wall to see the action live shout "STUMPED" after each illegal is kicked What a great time to be alive PART 3: >2068 >Emperor Trump is nearing his goal of world conquest >The North American Empire can't be stopped >Mexico has been destroyed and the blitzkrieg of Europe will begin soon, lead of course by the Emperor himself >America has truly become great again >A rebellion has risen in the NAE >Comprised mostly of libcucks and nogs who want their welfare back >Have tried several times to assassinate Trump the Ever-living but all have failed >The rebellion has devised a new plan that they think will succeed >Have an operative that is Trump's personal servant >Will put poison his wine >The Rebellion will meet at noon before they carry out the plan >The operative goes to the secret meeting location >The rebels tell stories about how a man named Bernie almost defeated Trump >They say how everything and everyone would have been free if Bernie had won >One rebel adds on to the story "Trump wouldn't have won if people knew of his immortality" >A man with a scar under his right eye gives the poison to the operative >"Poison him, end our suffering, it's what Bernie would have wanted" >He takes the poison and hides it as he enters the Trump House >The operative gets the wine and adds in the poison >He stops before entering the Oval Throne Room >"For Bernie" he says to himself as he enters the throne room >He is immediately stopped by the guards who take the wine and aim their weapons at him >"What's going on, it's just wine!" the operative proclaims >The Emperor stand up from his solid gold throne >"Do you truly believe this plan would have worked?" >"Your rebel friends have been dealt with, one of my agents told me of your plan" >The man with the scar under his right eye enters the room and stand next to Lord Trump >"No, NO! This cannot be" the operative says in disbelief >Trump the Ever-living takes his gold plated revolver from his desk >"You're fired" PART 4: >2016 >Trump has just been elected >About to say first words as president >He adjusts his tie and looks straight on into the audience >"Obama, you're fired" >Shortly after this Trump reveals that he's immortal and destroys the constitution >Trump is emperor for the rest of time >2025 >Emperor Trump has solved all of the US' problems >Illegals are stuck behind the Great Trump Wall >The Trumpen-SS keeps degenerates off the streets >Nogs are enslaved again >Trumpstapo sends all illegals that try to get past wall to Trumpentration Camps What a great time to be alive PART 5: >2087 >The Trumptopian war machine controls all of Earth's surface >This has become a problem since there is nowhere to deport immigrants >There isn't really such a thing as immigrants now >That's just what Trump the Unstumpable calls anyone who rebels against him >The common solution has been to attach weights to their feet and throw them into an ocean >But our great Lord Trump is stuck now >There is nowhere to expand >No place to conquer >No place, at least, on Earth >Trump, not to be stumped by Earth, turns his eyes to the stars >He invests about 5% of his net worth (100 quadrillion Donald Dollars) into his space program >He amasses a fleet of 2000 Trump Destroyers and hundreds of thousands of Trump Fighters >The Trumpwaffe is disbanded and all Propaganda Bombers are converted to starships >Flash forward to 2104 >Trump the Conquerer is ready to begin his conquest of the Solar System >He puts out a law that all able-bodied men must serve in his glorious conquest or be deported >Immediately all the citizens of Trumptopia rush to our Lord's aid >Those who didn't are immediately stumped >Trump the Mighty addresses his people >"Today, we embark on a new conquest" >"A conquest whose single goal is to stump all of the illegal aliens in the Solar System" >"Today, we are no longer the Empire of Trumptopia" >"We become the Trumptopian Galactic Empire!" >"Hail, Trump!" >"Hail, Trump!" >"Hail, Trump!" >( '-')/ Part 6: (my own application <3) >The year is 2124 >Trump invests all efforts to making warp drives to quickly travel and defeat the aliens. >Alien no longer means someone from somewhere else. It means enemy. >Trumps enemy. >Our Deliverer Trump has found a small group of aliens on Pluto >Trump our King uses this opportunity to test out his latest warp drive. >Scientist hears of Trump the One's plan. >Scientist bows a knee in Trumps throne room. >"My Lord, you say you plan to destroy these aliens, but the warp drive is not big enough for a Trump Destroyer. How will you defeat them?" >Trump the Conquerer stood, and leaped from his 16 foot high throne. >He landed in front of the scientist on one knee, then he stood. >"I will take my personal trump fighter. No single alien will be left alive." >Trump the Masted made his way to the Trump Hanger, and boarded his ship. >Takes off and goes into orbit >Uses Warp Drive to reach Pluto >As Trump our Lord reached Pluto, he could see he had his hands full. >The aliens had two massive Ships, capable of mass destruction. >Trump is being signaled to land by the craft. >Trump lands on a landing pad >The Aliens come out to meet him. >Trump exits the ship in style, leaping 12 meters and landing gracefully, his bear cape flapping behind him. >The aliens approach him cautiously. >They look like humans, but they are wearing masks so it is hard to tell.

Why do you think all Guardians start the game off dead?

When Chuck Norris came to Mars, the Cabal found a word for 'retreat'.