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Изменено (PONETHEPOON):
8/19/2015 7:28:48 PM
60
Let me describe my morning for you.
I have a ritual every Friday morning. I get paid, in the form of direct deposit, so every Friday when I get up, I go to the bathroom to [b][i]release the turtles[/i][/b], brush my teeth, check my bank account, and check Xur.
So now, phone in one hand, toothbrush in the other, I open the [b][i]destiny app.[/i][/b] I give it that little two seconds to pop up with [b][i]Xur's[/i][/b] inventory, and start to scroll down. I see some armor, okay cool.
[b][i]but then...[/i][/b]
[b][i][u]GJALLARHORN[/u][/i][/b]
[b]"WHAAAAT?!"[/b]
[spoiler]ten times louder than the cell, from the prison of elders.[/spoiler]
The toothpaste shot out of my mouth with sufficient force as to blow my cat clean off of the laundry basket he was sitting on. Poor mittens. Broke his neck on the towel rack.
My girlfriend thought we were being robbed, from all of the screaming and feline blood. She awoke completely startled, smacking her head on the disco ball above the bed, also breaking her neck.
[b][i]The bone was coming straight out of her spine.[/i][/b]
In the wake of all of this early morning screaming, hissing, and neck cracking, it's only natural that my neighbors (who are always weirdly suspicious of me) call the police.
The police must've been on their A-game this morning, as they arrived in seconds. As I was trying to push my girlfriend's spine back into her neck, two officers come smashing through my door, [b][i]Gjallarhorns[/i][/b] drawn. I knew it was over.
There was hope, however. As I fled out the window, their shots missed. They must have just gotten them from [b][i]Xur[/i][/b], because they didn't have wolf pack rounds yet.
Only after I jumped did I remember I lived on the 13th floor. Obviously, I died.
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Necrobump
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Just cuz.... necrobump. #TitanMasterRace
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Classic PoneThePoon
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LOLOLOLOL SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO FUNNY
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3 отв.Necrobump ;)
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1 ответ[quote] So now, phone in one hand, toothbrush in the other, I open the [b][i]destiny app.[/i][/b] I give it that little two seconds to pop up with [b][i]Xur's[/i][/b] inventory, and start to scroll down. I see some armor, okay cool. [b][i]but then...[/i][/b] [b][i][u]GJALLARHORN[/u][/i][/b] [b]"WHAAAAT?!"[/b] [spoiler]ten times louder than the cell, from the prison of elders.[/spoiler] [/quote] Best part right here
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2 отв.
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1 ответNecrobümp
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Just self-rez and get a new cat.
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So you lived in the 13th floor in crota's temple? If so I think I saw you and I teabagged that body
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1 ответ10/10 would ghorn again.
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1 ответYou released the [i]what[/i] in the bathroom?
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How to Destiny
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1 ответBetter love story than twilight
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2 отв.So I'm guessing you self-res'ed and that's how you're still here?
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7 отв.How hot is this grillfriend of yours?
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5 отв.I have a question. Electric toothbrush or a regular one?
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10 отв.How did the cops get to the 13th floor in seconds? I think you made this story up.
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1 ответSo you are typing this from the grave? In life OP was bound by the forums and now he haunts the forums in the after life. Crota, is that you?! You should write to your Dad he is super worried!
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1 ответ
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1 ответBro I laughed 4 times while reading this. 1st- cat broke his neck. Shit had me rolling 2nd- girl broke her neck 3rd-gallyhorns drawn 4th- no wolf pack rounds Thanks for the lolz man.
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1 ответFunny stuff dude.
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2 отв.Guardian Down
