I have to agree with everything you have said, in particular "the hate and hostility towards each other as players"...I have received quite a few toxic messages from opposition players which is fine. However, when the experience starts to create arguments between your own fire team members you have to say enough is enough.
I had a very heated row with a good friend this weekend during trials resulting in the two of us rage quitting. Thankfully, our friendship is good enough that a txt message afterwards apologising to each other has sorted our ridiculous disagreement. This should not happen, its a bloody game for -blam!-s sake but the whole experience is so broken it is easy to get frustrated with each other. I for one won't be putting my friendships at risk again and will be leaving trials well alone from now on until something is done.
That's one of the things, you can't keep a team together cause there just becomes arguments and blame. When you know you're going against people who are clearly much better you start to panic and make mistakes, there's a difference between being outplayed and outmatched, but people are assuming that I'm complaining about both.
Most people are not good in taking abuse. And most of the games in ToO are abuse and pubstomping now. So who do you complain to? The ones you can talk to. And the only ones you can talk to are your team mates.
Even if you join a "bounties only" LFG team, nowadays this is no guarantee that people are not leaving after the 3rd rout in a row.
ToO for the average player (and average player is by definition the base of the player population) is no fun. Not because of not getting to the lighthouse, but because of constantly being - like you stated very well - outmatched. And being outmatched just leaves you frustrated without any counter measure.