So I had to play a major part in a play which required singing with a female. I am a really shy person and don't usually do these kind of stuff but I decided I would do it. I was happy to hear that I would be singing a duet with my crush. The thing is this happened during puberty. So the day came and we started the play. My turn arrived, I was wearing a cotton tight pants like leggings. At half of the play we had to sing close to each other and I could feel a huge boner coming. I spend half of the time next to my crush in front of a huge audience singing with a boner which everyone could see. Needless to say my crush never talked to me again and I never took part of another play.

Hmmm....where to start? I know: One when I was little, I was playing on a playground in Maccas and I was going down the slide... well when I climbed back up there was this little boy who was just sitting there in the top of the slide (most of the slide was a tunnel) so I tried to go past him but ended up pushing him down... he went around the tube as he was going down and so he fell on the ground at the bottom and started crying. Keep in mind I was a very good kid and nothing like this had ever happened before so I was jus sitting there like 030

>be me >get hockey mask for Halloween >take it to friends house >all of our friends are there >jumping on trampoline >we used to refer to it as "the tramp" for short >everyone's kind of bored >one friend finds a big red exercise ball >messing around with it > get idea >put on my mask >throw ball at friends butt after he bends over as I yell "stranger danger!" >it ricochetes and hits me in the face > mask protects me but I almost fall off >get up >everyone's laughing >the end > be me >at same friends house >spent the night so we could go to the county fair >wake up >go downstairs and outside to the tramp >my friend has no cover over the springs that connect the frame to the part that you bounce on >there's a space between each of those springs >while jumping on the tramp, I notice a bunch of seeds from the tree above have fallen on to the tramp >start jumping and moving them around >jump too far and land right on the frame just a little bit behind my croch >slide off >friend comes outside and says "that was awesome!" > give him a crippled thumbs up.

I asked the first black man I met as a child if I stayed out in the sun too long if I would turn black, then started crying when I thought my freckles were the beginning of my skin becoming black.

One time my friend convinced me to leave school with him at lunch and go across the street to the apartments to smoke Marijuana. Now I am a gay crack fiend Tldr-Don't do drugs kids.

Summer '07. Senior year in highschool. We got invited to a house party once. Now I had no idea why anyone would invite me or anyone I hung out with to a gathering like that. But we decided -blam!- it, let's at least scope it out. So 3 of us show up at the house. Turns out it was a summer home that belonged to some bro's dead grandparrents. Ok... I'm like... "Dudes, let's see if we can just snag a bottle and leave. Watch the shitshow unfold from the beach under the cover of darkness." That was met with "don't be a Sally; it's senior year ya scrub and we're never in the know about these things. Live a little, m8." I said ok, but insisted we light up on the beach before hand. So we knock and are let in. There's a pong game going. Soul Calibur up on the tv because one of the bros brought a ps2. Crystal Method on the stero. Maybe not all bros are diqs lol... I tried to explain again how the whole thing just sketched me out and was told to stop being paranoid. So I'm like ok, raiding the fridge and going upstairs to roll up and get some shotguns in. Get it while the gettin's good, right. It was hot as hell up there. So I popped open a brew and sat down on the throne. Good layout. Small. I could sit on the terlet and roll up over the edge of the tub. I had shut the door just because. I wasn't sure who the beer I ganked from the fridge belonged to #1. #2, I wasn't real keen on who was herbal friendly outside the dudes I had showed up with. So I had finished rolling up and was kickin' back just drinking that first brew. Keystone. Light. Probably the worst beer ever. All of a sudden this girl I didn't even recognize (small school. She totally wasn't local) bursts in, jumps in the tub, takes off her underwear, lifts her skirt, and takes a leak in the tub. Standing up. Unfazed by the fact I was sitting there like a deer in the headlights nervously sipping this beer. She spotted my bag and asked if she could burn, so I told her to wash her damn hands because she had just done stuff with her lady parts and I don't know where that's been. She got pissed and left. Whatever. Turns out a couple underclassmen I was pretty tight with had shown up and had the exact same idea. At least they had the decency to knock. So they come in and hit off a shotgun each and we spark up. We heard this great commotion downstairs. It was like time stopped for a second and we exchanged confused clances in this half-fishbowled bathroom. Next thing we hear is some pretty hard pounding on the front door. [b]POLICE, OPEN THE DAMN DOOR[/b] Goddammit. I look out the bathroom door. Look back. This one kid is already half out the window. He drops down and I see his head pop up so his chin is right level with the sill. "Wraparound porch, guys ;) now gtfo. Back is clear for a second." I'm like "-blam!-it" and start climbing out this window but realize I had left my backpack with the herbs and my wallet that had my school ID so I fall back in, stuff what was left of the beers (superscore, free shit!) into the pack, and lowered it onto the porch roof. I'm out. Looking down, it's a pretty decent drop. One of the underclassmen was sorta crumpled up on the ground where I was about to try and lower myself. Had to drop the pack into some bushes. Lowered myself a bit on my stomach to try and catch the railing. Fell into the bushes. So much for trying to be stealthy. Got up and slinked over to the underclassman who was still on the ground. Sprained ankle. Luckily the back yard was a straight shot to the dunes. Beyond that, the beach. Salvation. Slung one of his arms over my shoulder and half dragged him up the dune where we both tripped up and went ass over teakettle down the opposite bank and landed on some rocks. A-ok though. Realised I had forgotten the backpack so I'm crawling back up the dune. Sandy as eff at this point. Don't even care. Cops in the back playing the light around the yard. Over the dunes where I was at. Kept moving. I damn near needed new drawers at this point. So I wait for what felt like a real long time after the two boys in blue went around the side of the house. Was probably not as long as I should have waited. Decided I should break cover and see if my bag was still in the bush. Victory! Almost... A cop opens the back door. Again, I'm standing there like a deer in the headlights clutchung this backpack he totally just saw extract from a bush on this propert. We lock eyes for a second. I spun real fast and sprinted toward the dune. Realized this kid with a busted ankle was probably still sitting where we stopped, so I stopped real short, juked left and went to hop this gnarly chainlink fence. Got caught and wound up tearing a pant leg pretty much off. Cop doesn't even try. I start cutting through back yards and hopping whatever happens to be in the way until I'm a good 5-ish blocks from where I started. Stash the bag on the beach side of a dune and try to camo it slightly with the dune grass that's there. Not much. Pretty half assed. And then start casually walking back to where I dropped this kid. Safe. So I get him up. He's ambulatory at this point. Limping real bad. But ambulatory. So we push to where I had stashed the bag, hump a little further down the beach. More space between us and potential nite time B&E. Ain't nobody got time for felony charges, right. He's like... "Man I wish I still had those brews =( Could go for a couple after that nonsense." So I open up the bag and get him the rest of his. He saw all I had was the keystones and offered up one of his. I declined because I'd rather take it on the chin than have leftover evidence. Long story short we wound up getting PC'd. I guess the cop who saw me in rhe yard had gone off duty or something (there might just be a God). My parents were gone so I got cut loose in the morning and given a court date. That dude got picked up and grounded for life... lol. Everyone else I guess got charged with criminal tresspass. Pretty sure the only reason we were all allowed to walk at graduation is because 2/3 of the senior class was there. Again, small school. TLDR/Moral of the story: Don't go to random houseparties. Bad. News.

I tried to build a time machine in the 4th grade, but then realized I didn't know how and then cried.

During my lice check at school i had to sit next to my crush. It wasn't that that was the problem, it was the fact the lady doing my check was having a convo with me and asked if I had any crushes randomly and all the sudden my crush walks in for her check, since we were the last ones in our class. I almost spilled it in front of her, and any sooner I would've died.

I was born...

My parents were killed and their skins sold on amazon

When I was nine me and my brother beat up three kids and threw them in a pit and pissed on them. Good times!

In the line for picture day I threw up on two people and myself.

Bump cuz this is worse than last time

That was terribly anti climatic. Please delete your story and post a new one. Ffs, make one up if you must.

In first grade, a girl brought in a book of fake monsters and one was a monster that lived in toilets. The second I heard that, I literally refused to even sh#t in any toilet unless absolutely necessary. It wore off after a week but it was enough to make my parents wish they could smack me XD

I can't remember any. But I'll bump your post